Small Things Matter Most

I received a packaged from a very close friend from Cebu City. Before I left Cebu City, they were the people who really helped me a lot in pursuing my dreams in life. I'm so sorry if i wasn't able to say a word of goodbye as I left...

Going back to the package, it contained simple things that they gave as a gift for me...

The packaged had:

4 packs of Chicharon from Carcar City, Cebu

4 packs of Ampao also from Carcar City, Cebu (Both are really my faves)

2 bars of imported Dove soap, with their names embedded on the carton.

A pair of beach shorts for me.

A pair of pyjamas for me also (I'm wearing it now).

A pair of shorts for my mom since they knew her get up and style.

They also included a bottle of roll-on deodorant (which I hate to use for i love using sticks)

And finally a copy of Sunstar Super Balita with their pictures rallying against Pure foods Inc. over their parcel of land.

Oh..! I almost forgot to mention the 1/4 kilo of Bulad from Taboan.

My illness went away for a while as I was so excited and eager to open their pasalubongs... hehe.

Thank you so much girls! You really helped me realize the importance of simplicity coming from the heart -small things matter most.

In the end if I die, the world won't cease to exist...

I am really worried. Anxious as to what will happen 2 days from now. How i wish i could write all of my worries and anxieties in this blog, but I tend to keep it by myself. i decide things under my own accord. My own will and understanding. Seldom would my friends, if I have one, hear me asking some advise or counsel in my every day doings.

I keep it by myself and suddenly every one would be stunned by my decisions in life.

I believe that ones turning point in life should be made by the person himself. Not by any other entity, fate, or whatsoever. One should make it on his own. Keep it, and reveal it as if nothing happens.

In the end if I die, the world won't cease to exist...

Out of Habit

The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight...

Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus

I continue to exist out of habit... Where the hell did I get this quote? Ah... I remembered Dr.Espina discussing existentialism of Sartre..?I have forgotten already those great philosophers... Anyway my point is this- I continue to live out of habit.

And it proves to be effective in succeeding and living meaningfully, if it's a necessity to live and have a meaningful life, in this absurd world. Indeed it is absurd! I see people suffering and pity them, yet I do not do anything to help them ease their suffering. Instead I disregard them as if I do not see anything. And yet I exist.

I know that this world is a temporary place, by saying temporary I mean that there is or are other place/s where I can live after this world. And yet I work so hard in order to continue living this hell of a kind life. Absurd indeed.

I continue to live as a habit. Every last Saturday of the month I make my plans for the succeeding months work. The we go to our boss' house for him to sign our plan. Then we give our signed plan to our branch coordinator. When approved I follow my plan. I wake up 7am prepare for work. Then go to Dr. Dela Cruz for my first coverage of the day.. then Dr. Sanchez, Lagmay, Tiu, Brato, Yarra.... until I reach my target 20 doctors a day... then go home, eat, prepare samples, then sleep. Then the next day same doctors in the morning but new doctors in the afternoon, and end up with the same doctors for the evening coverage... either dr. Solis, Manalo, or Ho. Absurd? Yes. But I still do it

I get my salary every 13th and 27th of the month. My operational allowance is sent every 3rd and 17th of the month. I receive money frequently and I spend them very fast also. Absurd? Yes. But I still keep on doing it.

i know my life is absurd but I keep on living an absurd life. Why? Simply because I am not conscious of it. Looking at the heavy stone as it falls down the hill after a hard labor of pushing it upward.

Only then will I find consciousness if I sit and reflect. Bending back the events and things I do, internalizing and reflecting.