I Miss Her So Much

I went to visit her just this afternoon. For a long tie I had forgotten her. Nearly everything about her. I forgot about her presence, care, kindness, and most of all her love. The moment I saw her, I was moved into tears.. It deemed to me that she was calling me from afar, softly whispering in my heart. I miss her so much. Now that I'm back with her, I'm willing to surrender everything and put my whole trust to her...

Different Side of the World

For quite a long time I have been sitting around the corners of our house doing nothing. I became unproductive and useless. For six months I did nothing. Since I left my "faithful" life in the seminary I was broken into pieces... I was looking for ways on how to put those pieces back into its shape.

It was hard for me to adjust really... From a life that is secluded yet public, and to a life that is private yet secluded.. In other words from my life in the formation house and into the life of a lay man...

Then I eventually found a job and was hired as a trainee... I am currently being trained as a medical sales representative. Very distant from what I used to live. My interviewer, who happened to be the vice president of the company, asked me "why do you want to apply for this job?" Different from others would say, my answer was 'to be able to see the different side of the world...'

Indeed those were my words. I was supposed to tell him that I do not need a job but just for a living, but I feared that I might sound arrogant. Anyway, I was really happy that I was hired, though still as a trainee. Now I am off to see the different side of the world, in order to comprehend the phenomenon happening inside and outside of me.

I did not expect them to tell me that!

I was hurt..! I did not expect them to tell that! What hurt me most was the fact that they did not tell it in front of me. I just heard it from others.. It is alright if they are not professional, just like the people in the squatters area... but they are people who deserve to be respected, persons with authority both by the public and religious sectors.....

Anyway. I do not have to follow what they say about me. I simply do not care. My life belongs to me, not by them, neither my parents nor my brother.. It's my life. My decisions were carefully thought, and if ever, by chance, i made a wrong decision, it will be me who will pay the price, not them..

I am sure that they will soon pay the price of putting words in my mouth. Of putting myself in a box.