Of Incomes, Expenses and Life In General

Life has always been challenging me.. Yet amidst those challenges, I stood up and proved that I can do it. Yet God allows certain events in my life to constantly remind of the value of humility. It was during my prime years in my current pharmaceutical company that I experienced triumphs and successes in my entire career as a pharmaceutical representative. I took awards most coveted by medical representatives. I withstood all of them when it comes to total sales in peso value.. Yet I still feel incomplete.

I know a lot of people get envious. Not to brag my name but they always tell me how fortunate I am to have this kind of job. A job that gives me more than enough of what I need. They see me driving a car, stunningly dressed in long sleeves and slacks, having a decent house, someone who can buy whatever he wants, can travel to different places, joined a company that can take me abroad and experience a life in luxury at least for a 5 day annual convention a year... They see me with them. And I feel grateful to the Lord that these gifts are given to me...

They just see the externalities of me. They haven't seen the reality that I have to pay for my housing amortization that cover half of my monthly take home pay. Then pay the bills, electricity, internet, water, cellphone and so much more. not to mention the chains of having a credit card. All of these are skeletons hidden in my closet. Yet I still wondered how did I manage to survive. With every income that gets into my pocket, all the more will I pick out on my other pocket. You see expenses do come and go and the more that I earn, the more I spend.

I really do not have that mentality of saving money. They see me living a decent life but I can really vouch that somebody who's envious of my life gets a lot more in his passbooks than mine. I do not have a savings. I have a bank account though, but it seldom gets deposits.. more on withdrawals. And still I ask myself.. Is this still the life that I want to live up to the next 10 or 20 years? You should congratulate me, I paid 6 years straight, without any arrears, my housing loan. That would give me 19 more years left to finally pay my housing amortization. I would be 50 years old by that time. Sick enough to take a rest in this house and sick enough to allocate the house payments to cover for my medications.

Yet the question still bothers. Is this what life has to offer? I don't know. I still live one day at a time. I do save a little, I have my life insurance, though not that big premium, but enough to cover an entire chemotherapy if i get cancer, which i pray to God no. I still do dream of the seminary. The community life, The life of a religious. I think that is really my direction in life. I don't dream of having a family, kids and a wife.. no not really. I just want to live a decent life. I have my own house, I can buy the food that I want, pay my hospital bills, and live a comfortable life. I don't know if I can get this. I pray.

John Allen's Mega Trend: A Common Man's Response

​Perhaps one of the most famous lines that made it to trend in the recent Oscars was that of Neil Patrick Harris’ opening lines: "Tonight we honor today’s best and whitest…” However, after reading John Allen’s 10 mega-trends shaping the Catholic Church, Harris’ famous line may be said only in reference to the Church’s past. Today what could be referred as the Church’s best and whitest times are only part of Church annals. Time has changed, new trends creeping in, many things are new and so is the color that fills the Church today.

Color Change

Gone are the days when missioners would only mean Caucasians; when the Roman Catholic Church is synonymous to something western; and the Church’s perspective is seen only in Rome. Gone are the days when European churches are overflowing with people to the extent that it overflowed to developing countries to share their abundant faith in mission ad gentes. Nowadays these churches are empty and the Church’s pecuniary condition is also running empty due to major abuses and blunders made by the clergy.

Perhaps this era may be considered the Church’s “darkest” times in post-modern history because of the offenses made by the clerics that erupted in the west. However, this “darkest” times could mean not only to refer to the stigma caused by abuses but also because the hope of the Church today shines brightest not among the best and whitest but the poorest and “darkest” people of this world. Perhaps the color change happening in the Church today from White Caucasian to sun-kissed Asians and dark Africans may be a reflection of the revolution that is going on within the Church. It is a manifestation of the change that is on-going within - from the triumphalist and elitist Church to a Church that is more service-oriented and sensitive to the needs of the poor; from a Church that speaks from the perspective of the comfortable first world to a Church that preaches mercy and compassion and responsive to the situation of poverty, oppression and injustice of developing countries.

Color change is indeed inevitable. Changed has not only occurred in colors of complexions but also in the color of outer garments. Gone are the days when men garbed in white hold monopoly to the truths of divinity. Nowadays with the rise of lay empowerment and involvement in the Church white garbs are no longer the predominant color in the Church’s ministry but it is one among the many different colors worn by the laity who work hand-in-hand with the clergy and religious in proclaiming the gospel ever anew.  

The Color of the World

​With the color change that has become inevitable in the Church, the world we are in now has also become so diverse, so wide and so colorful. If we look around many of the things that are happening were only once considered science fiction. What the Church has attempted to respond and address in the past by way of providing theological reflections and moral guidelines can no longer be seen as black and white. At present situations and experiences of people can no longer be narrowed to either black or white. There are lots of gray areas now and the shades of these gray areas are wider and wilder than the fifty shades of grey. 

​Think of bio-ethical issues. Consider gender differences. Reflect on the many realities happening in cyber space. Think of the quality of human relationships vis-à-vis the existence of social media, the internet and smart gadgets. Consider the megatrends shaping the Catholic Church. Where would the Church situate herself now in this wide and diverse situation of the world and human life?

The Common Man Re-Imagining the World

​Perhaps in the Church’s “darkest” of times, we honor with gratitude the best times that happened in the history of the Church made by the “whitest” and well educated people of the Church. However, cognizant of the color change that is happening perhaps the Church can bank on the new color that fills her to respond to a more colorful context that confronts her.  This can be done by allowing new voices to be heard, by listening to the voices of the common people that builds the Church today, and permitting this people coming from developing countries to re-imagine the face of the Church in this complex and diverse world that she is in right now.

As the famous dictum goes, Vox Populi Vox Dei, maybe the time has come for the Church to listen to what her people is saying and not saying; maybe it is time for her to allow her people to speak and allow the Spirit to work within them and contribute in the shaping of the Church; perhaps the time has come for the Church to allow the needs and concerns of the common man to be heard. If there is somebody that is so affected by these mega trends it is not the Church hierarchy, it is not the rich but the common man- the faceless, nameless common man who struggles to survive and live this complex world.

Abraham Lincoln once said “God must love the common man, He made so many of them.” God has indeed loved the common man and He speaks to them through their struggles, through their plights, through the everyday complexities they face day in and day out. And for the Church to respond to the complex world, she needs to listen to God speaking through the common man. 

I say this using the language of the common man with much respect to the Church who has moulded and nurtured me. I say this as a common man who speaks on behalf of all common people who continues to struggle the complexities of the gray areas of life: “Kung hindi mo maibahagi ang sariling kulambo, makibahagi sa kagat ng lamok. Kung hindi mo maibahagi ang sariling payong, makibahagi sa patak ng ulan.” Only when the Church is able to listen, share and understand the concerns of the common man, will she be able to allow the common to participate in the re-imagining of the Church today; only then will she be able to empower the common man to become her evangelizers; only then will the Church be able to respond to the colourful trends that confronts her and only then will she be able to let the new colors sneaking in her shine brightest in her “darkest” times. 

With all these megatrends and the big words that theologians are talking about these days, in the future when we shall have seen the bigger picture and the common man is heard and has participated in the re-imagining of the church, perhaps all these megatrends with just be trivial and people will just laugh at its pettiness. As the famous line of Virgil in Aeneid goes, “Perhaps one day, these things will be a pleasure to recall.”

  

Who Do You Say I Am? My Christological Perspective

I grew up with a clear understanding that Jesus Christ is the Messiah, the Savior. As a student of a non-sectarian school, we were not really taught of who really is Jesus Christ. I transferred to a Catholic school for High School, and then this question is not anymore given thorough emphasis. It is a grave sin to ask this question because we were expected to know that He is our savior, He died for our sins, He is the only begotten Son, one in the Father and etc. Nobody even dared to question why He is our savior. As a student it’s a heresy to verify if Christ really died for our sins. We were just given instructions and mandate that Jesus Christ is our Savior and He is the Son of God. That’s it.

Though the inculcation of the doctrine of our faith, from our parents and teachers, greatly contributed to my concept of Jesus Christ, it was only when I left the seminary and studied Theology that this question has been answered. In our course in Christology, I have come to a realization that I really do not know who is Jesus Christ. I was scandalized and became confused, particularly on the question of His necessity. Is He really necessary in our life? Does Christ really take part on our salvation? What differed Him from the great men of our times, the likes of Ninoy Aquino, Jose Rizal or even Heneral Luna? The more I studied and tried to understand Christ the more questions and confusions did it bring to me.

I would like to take as my starting point of my reflection on the Christological perspective of the Triplex Munos. This evolves on the threefold mission of Christ. Christ being a priest, a king, and as a prophet. As priest Christ made himself an ultimate sacrifice for our salvation. I can remember in one of our discussions the question that; is it really necessary for Jesus Christ to be the sacrifice? In my humble understanding it was necessary for Jesus Christ to be the ransom for our salvation because it takes only a person such as Jesus Christ, the only Son of the Father, to do this. Only a God like the Father could do this for us. Only a person, one with the Father could be the ultimate sacrifice for the payment of our sins. We can offer anything, lamb for the Jews, chicken, pig, or even cow but it does not surpass the great offering, One like Him, Jesus Christ.

Jesus came to be human just like us. Though He is a King he came to serve and not to be served. He showed a great example for us, by being a person just like us to. Jesus’ kingly mission is a call for us to follow. He is the ultimate example of what service really means. We are called to be persons of service. As human beings, I tend to think that I am higher than others. I always seek for special treatment, most especially in the way I act in our home. I can consider myself as the bred-winner of my house and I could say that I deserve to have the special attention from my family. Yet here is this Man, the Man who not only changed the perspective of service but deconstructed it. He showed me the clear example that as an individual, it is okay not to think of yourself first but to think of others. As Christians we are called to do the same- to be selfless, humble and to be of service to other.

The prophetic mission of Christ denounced every form of evil and He gave witness to the life of the Gospel. In our discussion, however, I have started to question the reality of evil. What is evil then? Is evil a necessity for me to know Christ? I don’t know, but what I am certain of is that Christ denounced the evils of His time. He denounced the hypocrisies of the Pharisees; he fought against injustice, and gave hope for the sick, widows, and sinners. The evils of Jesus Christ are not different from our times. The evil still continues and the challenge of Jesus Christ continues as well. That is to denounce the evil of our time. In my personal life I am always confronted with different forms of evil. The injustices that are taking place in my workplace. Most especially when the managers and top management makes decisions that are not giving us the proper compensations and benefits, I for one speak in fornt of them to denounce and seek for what is just for us. The prophetic mission of Christ invites us to be a prophet, a prophet that challenges to the evils of our time. Jesus continues to challenge us to follow Him, not just a meek and mild lamb but as a prophet who denounces every form of evil. Jesus Christ who renounces every form of inequality and criticizes every form of oppression.

Amidst these images of Christ as a priest, a king and a prophet I would like to settle on the reality that Christ for me as my Father of Mercy and Compassion. Just this year I was very fortunate to be in Manila and be part of the youth delegates in the Pope’s meeting with the youth. Pope Francis gave me a clear understanding of what Jesus Christ is. Jesus Christ is my father, a father that does not look on my differences, short comings, failures and sins. He is a father for me who looks at me and still be amused with what I do. Will still find happiness in my actions, that even if I do not religiously follow the rules and doctrine of the Church he founded, yet He still finds me worthy of being a human. Jesus for me is continuously challenging me to become a good person yet he does not reject me if I fail to follow what He wants. He still has hope in me even if most of the time I follow what I want. Many times I feel guilty with what I do because most of them are not in accordance to the doctrine and teachings of the Church. Yet there is this Man, Jesus Christ, who says that its okay you don’t have to be guilty because I have loved you long before those teachings and this love is enough for you to be with me till the end of times. This was my realization during that short encounter with the Pope. It was very heart-warming to see the Pope hugging the street children who have come to realize that there is no more hope on their situation. His gesture of hug was an image showing that Jesus is not blind of our heartaches, trials, and injustices. He is there to give me that hug, as a gesture of mercy and compassion, and asking me to follow Him in the ways that I know. I don’t have to be strict to myself to follow what the Church really wants but I can be who I am and still be delightful to Him. Bottom line is, in the end I will still face Christ alone. And when He would ask me what I have done with my life, I will take hold on the fact that I have accepted His challenge in the way I know and in the way that I could. I don’t have to change my being me just to follow You, because I know that You have loved me unconditionally and everything else followed.

-danielangelolao 

The Trinity: A Community of Love

 ​A few years ago I was able to witness the ordination of my closest friend here in Davao. A few days following that big event, we joined him in his thanksgiving mass in Agusan del Sur where we met his family and some of his relatives. It was the first time that I have encountered his siblings for some conversations. It was there that I noticed how they shared a number of characteristics. Aside from the noticeable facial features that they share, they also have similarities by the way they stand, the manner of speaking and even in some mannerisms. 

​I have noticed that in my own family too. Although each one of us in the family are distinct from one another, most of my friends would always say that they see in me the characteristic of my mother and my father or at times they would claim that I am like my brother or my sister. I believe that we differ in a lot of ways but our similarities are almost always noticed.

​Perhaps you have noticed that in your own family too. Most children are almost always like their parents in so many ways. Siblings share a lot of common attitudes too- ways of thinking and how they see and interact with people around them. But what fascinates me, my dear brothers and sisters, are those married couples who are not related to each other at all but appear to share facial features and would come across as siblings because they look the same. From these married couples, we could see how love transforms- two distinct individuals who are one and the same.

​Today, we celebrate the solemnity of the Most Holy Trinity. The mystery of the Trinity is not very easy to understand- One God in 3 persons. However, for us to understand the mystery of the Trinity, we need to look at the Trinity from the eyes of human relationships. In order for us to appreciate the Trinity we need to look at it from our own experience of relationships.

​We need to look at the Holy Trinity as a perfect community / family. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit are all distinct from one another, yet, they are one God, one community. They are related to one another in love. It is love that binds them. It is love that transforms them and makes them one.

Our readings today give us a glimpse of the wonderful relationship that they have. It reminds us that because of the love that makes them one, each of them is active in us and in our history. The Book of Proverbs in the first reading tells us that the Father is the one who creates everything, puts all things in order. However, it is also from the first reading where we hear that God the Creator was never alone in the work of creation. "When he established the heavens I was there, when he marked out the vault over the face of the deep; When he made firm the skies above, when he fixed fast the foundations of the earth, I was there. Then was I beside him as his craftsman, and I was his delight day by day, Playing before him all the while,  playing on the surface of his earth.” This is a clear image for all of us that because of their love for one another, the work of one becomes the work of everyone. God the creator, is acknowledgedas the Creator however, He was never alone in the work of Creation. Someone was beside Him,someone was His delight day by day.

In the second reading we hear the role of the Son in our lives- if we believe in him, He brings us grace and assures us of our salvation. Paul shares his reflections on being justified by faith (made right by believing in Jesus). By faith in Jesus, we are entitled to live in peace with God and we have access to his graces and we can look forward to participate in his glory. The works of Jesus is not a solitary work, It is not a work directed to Himself but his salvific work, is a mission that would lead everyone back to the Father.

And in our gospel we hear of the Holy Spirit leading us to the full truth, to understand the fullness of God’s revelation. From the short gospel reading, we also are given the glimpse of the dynamism (activities) of each of the persons in the Holy Trinity. The Father shares with the Son whatever belongs to him. The Son acknowledges that whatever belongs to him belongs to the Father. He is willing to share with us all that he has / is. The Holy Spirit does not speak for himself but for the Son and the Father. He comes to guide us to the truth. The Father, Son and Holy Spirit act together as one God in us. They do not act separately or contradict one another. My dear brothers and sisters, the readings that we have heard today paint to us an image of what a perfect community the Trinity is!

My dear Brothers Sisters the feast today reminds us of what our families, parishes or communities should be. We are invited to recognize our differences and uniqueness but are invited to live in unity and love. We have been baptized in the name of the Holy Trinity. As Christians professing faith to the Trinity, we ought to live our relationships following the example of the Trinity.

As we continue the celebration of the Holy Eucharist, we pray for the grace we need so that we too would imitate the love and unity of the Trinity. May we always remember that we best worship our God by imitating the discipline and activity of the Triune God. We pray that we too would be transformed by their love and grow not only in faith but also in becoming an image and likeness of the Trinity not only in our family and community but also to every person we meet and encounter. May we strive to gradually become an image and likeness of the Trinity by becoming instruments of God’s love in all our relationships. |Amen.

-danielangelolao

The Human Person: A Reflection

Reflection on the Human Person

I will start my reflection on the question; What is really in Man that God cares so much for us? This is the very fundamental question that most of the time I take for granted. Mainly because I live a life of security, equality (in the society, at least) and love. There are many, however, individuals living a life where their humanity, their being human, has been violated by others who does not value the Human Person. They violate because they do not understand what is really a Human Person.

In my experience in the mission immersion with the Badjao community in Cebu, I can still remember the event that really marked a scar in my heart. It was the time when their community was razed by a great fire. I saw it by myself the day after the fire many children died and the community was displaced. The Badjaos claimed that it was the government who did the fire to paved way for the construction of the South Reclamation Project, now known as the South Road Properties. A reclaimed area intended for the rich and the ‘can afford’ people. At that very moment, my young mind was awakened and had started to question are  not these Badjao people a Human Person? They too are created by God. They too are willed being and they have dignity. They could have been placed in a more decent area and not just burned and leaving them dead and homeless.

This reminded me of what Bonaventure said about the Human Person. He said that we are willed creatures, God willed us to exist. We start existing in God and will end in God. The central focus of social morals is on how we look at Human Persons. When we look at the human person as people to lord over, to take dominion over, and sometimes as ‘slave’, we do not look at them as persons with dignity. If we look at the other person in the Christian perspective, understanding the value of each individual as a creature created in the image and likeness of God, then each will have the dignity worthy of him as a person. If we look at people having a sense of dignity then we treat them as how we would like to be treated. In this way we can uplift the value of each individual as a person bearing dignity.

So for the question what is really in man that God cares so much for us, it is the act of God when he breathed His spirit on us, giving us the right to be called Human Persons. This life/breath that we have comes from Him alone. It is important for us to understand this very foundation of the human persons in order that our acts and judgments will look at each and every individual as what he or she really is; a creature of God, created in His image and likeness, and with dignity.

Reflection submitted to Social Morals class...

-danielangelolao

On Homosexual Marriage

There are groups around the world calling for the church to recognize the unions of men to men or women-women. Some causes protests on the streets such as the gay pride march which made some states in the US to at least legalize Homosexual or Same Sex Marriage. This prompted other countries to follow their steps while many conservative countries remain strong in pointing the immorality of Homosexual Marriage. This issue is no longer avoidable in my country as it broke many traditional concepts and cracked cultures around the world. The Metropolitan Church, for instance, offers marital union for the LGBTs and it gained support from the minorities in the country today. It is in this light that we can say that the Church and the government is not anymore blind from recognizing the reality of this issue.

Having studied theology of marriage, as a lay individual, I get to have a wider opportunity to converse with homosexuals. I have many friends who are gays. They are very good people who just want to live the same normal life as others have. They've been longing to be accepted by the society and by the Church. When they love, they also want to get married, seal their love with a covenant with God and with each other. But the Church and our State does not adhere to this idea. This unacceptance has brought these people to hide; others even to the point of disregarding religion and simply put their faith on themselves.

In one of my conversations, my friend asked me what the motivation of the homosexuals for their marriage is. I guess that they do have the same motivation as the man and woman have before they present themselves to the altar. If it is just merely for recognition and legality, then it shouldn't be done. I think it still goes the same with the man and woman marriage. In our previous discussion, the Church gave emphasis on the relational aspect before getting into marriage. Marriage has gone too far from being simply an exclusive right over the woman’s body into something relational and committal. Both man and woman wants to get married for them to seal their love in the bonds of marriage, I think it goes the same with the Homosexuals.

On the one hand he pointed out on the morality side and said that the church is very enthusiastic in presenting the immorality of Homosexual Marriage. That according to the Bible union between the same sexes is immoral. Only man and woman can get married. I was very struck when he answered that notion in a question form. He asked me “why is it that when they see both men, loving each other, getting married they immediately points out that it’s immoral. While when they see teenagers, impregnated after a one night stand, got married and would not comment on the immorality of their marriage. They simply say it is better that they get married because it is for the welfare of the child and the woman. Without taking consideration that both man and woman don’t even love each other.” Which of this two points are moral and immoral or simply lesser immoral?

On the other hand our own culture has greatly influenced my countries stand on the immorality of Homosexual Marriage. For more than three centuries, we’ve been colonized by traditional and very conservative Westerners and they shaped our culture and beliefs. The same Westerners who have been very open to the concept of Same Sex Marriage nowadays. I think there is a need for a deeper understanding on the issue, awareness and acceptance; that these people does exist and they also have a place in the Church and in the Society. As the post modern thinkers would say, these values need to be ‘deconstruct’ in order for us to grow into our full existence.

Taking full consideration on the motivation of the homosexual couples, the questions of moralities and the culture that influences us, I guess it narrows us down into two very essential points.  First is on the encompassing love of Christ for us; that the love of Christ is unfailing. That it transcends beyond our questions of morality, society and culture. That His love chooses no gender and is free and constant for all. Secondly, is that we are bound to decide according to our conscience. We are always guided by our conscience. If our conscience would say it is right and moral to commit into a homosexual marriage then go, if there are hesitations seek for the working of the Spirit and ask for its wisdom.

Maybe the time is not yet ready for us to fully accept the concept of Homosexual marriage. As Fr. Tom Groarke, C.Ss.R. concluded in his lectures on the Challenges of Contemporary Marriage “Marriage is not a static reality. It evolved and developed in the course of history. Marriage within the most culture is also in a state of transition.” This transition is always moving and maybe in due time, Homosexual Marriage will be recognized, legalized and considered a moral act if done out of love.

No Love No Marriage

No Love No Marriage

Marriage has gone a long way. As I have learned in our class the concept of marriage has evolved into different stages from a very simple gesture of marrying to form alliance of different kingdoms, to an exclusive right of a man over a woman for sex and thereby completing the marriage by the act of consummation. Now marriage, in the Church, has been lifted into a level of a sacrament. And for this reason couples put more importance on the preparations and the externals of marital rites in the church. These days also, we seldom see couples marrying out of wedlock, alliance or business partnerships, and marrying out of pregnancy. Couples turned out to be ‘in love with each other’ before they get married. But is love really essential before marriage?

My grandfather married my grandmother without courtship and shall we say love. As what our family history would say, my grandfather was a handsome and hardworking teacher and just asked for the consent of my grandmother to get married and both got married on Feb. 14, 1958. They had two children, and one is my mother. And for 35 years they had a very good relationship, filled with love and faithfulness until my grandmother died on 1993.

My mother got married with my father because both of them loved each other. They surpassed the trials of time and for 20 years they were together. And when we all finished our college, and all of us were professionally working in our different fields, my father left home and left us. We did not know what took place, what transpired. We were very clueless. My brother was working abroad when he heard the news. When he came home, we gathered and later did we know that the love they both shared had been gone for quite a time. And they finally decided to separate after considering that we are all mature enough to handle the situation.

I cited these two situations as my point of comparison. These are very real situations, situations that we sometimes disregard but needs the attention of our church. The examples I gave would somehow reflect the marriage before and at present. The latter showed marriage without love but turned out to be faithful and lasting, true to their promise. The former has love then marriage but failed. The question is this; up to what degree can we say that the love the couples have for each other is enough for them to get married and to keep their marriage successful. Considering that marriage is not merely for procreation but also a lifelong partnership, a commitment to God and each other.

Why is this happening? I believe that these are realities that we should look into. In my own view, I would not put more weight on love prior to marriage but love before, and ‘during’ marriage. As Gabriel Marcel would say, love is the highest phenomenon we can do to express our existence fully. And in this case it should be present within the marriage for it to work. But it does not stop there; both should have hope and fidelity for each other for marriage to work.  Hope that their marriage would last and fidelity that no matter what happens throughout time they remain constant in their commitment.

 I believe that the Church should put more stress on the relational aspect of marriage. In my lay perspective, I see that the Church has lapses when it comes to handling post marital concerns of many couples. Even the pre-nuptial seminars was considered to be a burden for marrying couples thereby considering it as nuances and less prioritized. The obligation of the Church does not stop from officiating the wedding rites of the couples but it goes down into the level of the couple, understanding their differences and helping them cultivate that love within marriage. What is essential is for the couples, with the aid of the Church, to cultivate that ‘love’ in their marriage.

This article was my reflection paper on my Theology class.

Church Should Not Reject People...

I went into the Redemptorist formation for 5 years, fortunate for me that at least I received a strong foundation when it comes to faith and the Catholic religion per se. But after living 5 years outside formation, somehow I already made a clear distinction between the life of a religious and an ‘ordinary’ Catholic. And in this paper I will give my reaction according to the perspectives of a lay man.

The Church should not reject “people who have sex outside marriage, use contraception, don’t attend Sunday Mass”, and should I include the LGBTs. This statement of Bishop John Buckley touches most lay man’s concerns, particularly on moral issues. Personally, speaking in behalf of the lay, we tend to disregard most of the teachings of the Church and live a life that is somehow directed by the Church’s teachings but we tend to choose what we follow and not just simply obey without rationalizing. In this generation of Catholics, seldom would you hear lay obeying guidelines without even asking why. Most of the time it ends up with protest against the Church, a clear example was the case of Carlos Celdran raising a placard with the word “Damaso” during a Mass as a sign of protest against the involvement of the Church on RH Bill proceedings. It was an indication that lay are getting more inquisitive.

It is in these situations that the Church has created a gap. Nowadays, lay Catholics have gone afraid in going to church for Mass because they always feel guilty and unworthy. This guilt and unworthiness becomes part of our system. When asked to attend Mass, they would say it’s only for the religious and the clean. This should not be the case because, as sinners we are then called to conversion and the Church can help us out. The Church is indeed our refuge and not someone who merely gives emphasis on our mistakes. Bishop Buckley was right in saying that religion is about hope and strength and not about condemnation or rejection. This development serves as a challenge to our Church leaders, who have attained a certain degree of distance from the faithful, to reach out and explain that the Church is a refuge.

And it is true that these laws and regulations are the ‘ideals’ that we should follow. Ideals that should shape our mentality and shall then establish our Christian way of life. I believe that having them as our examples to live by will benefit us in one way or another but I also stand with the thought that not living on these ideals doesn’t make me less of a Christian, in this case less of a Catholic. What is essential is what my conscience dictates me. If I feel that I am happy and is fulfilling what Christ requires me to do then I am a Christian.

It should be noted also that there is a great responsibility for the Church to be constantly on guard when there is threat to our Values. It is essential that the Church should remind the faithful to live a life pleasing to God but in a manner that does not cultivate a culture of rejection and fear. The Church, I believe, has gone too much preoccupied by setting up guidelines and laws but forget to think of what is essential; and that is to love one another as God has loved us. I always stick to my standpoint that religion is just a vessel for me to face God but then again in the end I’ll be facing my Creator alone.

This is my reflection on my Theology Class.

Pagaantay

A succeding poem of the Trilogy of Love

Kailan kaya darating ang panahon na aking inaantay?
Nais ko sanang ito'y dumating ng matiwasay.
Sa pagdating nito sana ang puso ko ay handa,
sa kung ano mang dulot na aking ikabibigla.

Nakatingin ang isip sa lalim ng himpapawid,
Nakabaon ang pangarap sa siksik na panganib.
Takot ang puso sa hatid ng panahon,
subalit sabik na malaman kung saan tayo pagka laon.

Huwag akong mangako sa iyo ng walang hanggan,
dahil alam mo na di ako masusuklian.
Di ako pwede magmahal ng lubusan,
pagkat ako'y di nais, sarili mo'y di mo pa nalalaman.

Pag isipan at suriin mo sana ng mabuti,
ang iyong isip at puso para ating ma wari.
Sa puso mo, alam ko, ako ang nilalaman
pero sana naman, kahit sa akin, ito'y iyong mapanindigan.

Nahihirapan ang aking puso at damdamin,
habang nagpapatuloy tayo'y, isip ko'y dapat na itong tapusin.
Bulong ng isipan dapat ka nang lisanin,
Panahon lamang ang may alam, at sa ati'y nakatingin.

Pinakaaantay na panahon ay baka biglang dumating,
handa ba ako sa hatid nitong kaligayahan o hiling
Ligaya na ako'y ibigin, tanggapin at mahalin,
o ihiling na tapusin ang kahibangan ng mga damdamin.

Changes

If you don't hear anything from me then you might be part of the people whom i don't want to communicate with.. i am making changes in my life. Changes that will drastically change the way I view my self as well as others would do for me.. I think I should do this. i believe I must. A lot of people had already felt the pain I brought. A couple of relationships went on the rocks.. And a lot would try to insist that they can help even if they cannot...

They can't help me, I mean us. They just don't know what I've been through just to reach this certain level of enlightenment, of acceptance and of love... The certainty of being enlightened by the reality that was shown.. the enlightenment that there is indeed no harm in being true to your self.

Accepting how these changes would affect me endures pain. it hurts me to know that when I reveal that dark side of me, no one would dare to accept me. But I just remained firm in my understanding that no one would accept me unless I start accepting this phenomenon. Changes entails acceptance and with that others must also accept that I hurt them and I caused to break relationships... Now what else can you do... You always try to reach out to me. Can't you read the thought between the lines.

Loving... It doesn't simply end there. I must embrace this acceptance by showing to others how much I value my self or simply to say -how much I love my self. Then they would start loving me... The thing about this is that I still have this great desire to be loved. Indeed love is the best feeling I have.. and in the same manner the most painful. but still I endured the pain. I managed to continue loving even if he simply doesn't care.

So much for that. I retire.

Relationship Stirred

All the while i thought that we would be living discreetly together.. We are aware of the reality that what we are doing is against the norms of society. thus we live in such a discreet manner. i felt love, i felt happiness like never before. It feels so good to remember our moments of love, our moments of intimacy and affection. How I wish i could spend the rest of my life doing it with you. Making love, caressing, and hugging you.
We allowed it to happen. We wanted it to happen. We do it out of our own accord. I must admit that I did it out of my love for you. It surprises me to know that for you it was just nothing. It was merely a game, a game played over with temptation, lust, and hedonism. Pleasure that was simply your idea about it. As for me, I did it out of love. I did it because I care for you and I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.
Sometimes I think that even rainbows have their ends. And what I fear most just happened at once. I felt really ashamed of my self when I heard about the things that happened lately. This stirred up our discrete relationship. Our secrets of intimacy and affections. This threatened my mere presence on you. And this might lead us to separation, the thing i fear most. I must admit that when that person left you, I felt happy that somehow in this battle I won. I fought for you and now I have you all by myself. For my personal consumption, no other person would take you away from me.
Not until secrets have been revealed that my happiness was turned into anguish, embarrassment, and fear. I anguish for the fact that with this things happening, I might lose you. I am embarrassed because of the discoveries they found revealing the private life we had together. I fear for the outcome of this what would be the result of our silence, and what would they reveal again to destroy our relationship.
One thing I must confess, after having these events I came to a point of leaving you. I reached to a certain level of certainty that when I leave you and the part of a chapter of my life, things would go well. Yet when I heard you asking me if even I would leave you... those certainties turned out to be wrong. I shouldn't have let that cowardice corrupt my mind. In the silence of my heart I sincerely apologize for entertaining those thoughts. This I promise you... In this time that you need me most you will have me and I won't leave you...

Sharing

Christian Life Program

Sharing for Talk no. 2

Daniel Angelo M. Lao

It is an honor for me to be chosen as sharer for this morning. It is my prayer that somehow you will gain something from my sharing.

I grew up as an ordinary kid, I have my parents with me, they were able to send me to private schools, I have enough allowance and they can also provide me with what a kid usually needs. It was during High School that certain changes happened in my family. My mom and dad were having disagreements all the time. They always argue even on the simplest decisions we need as a family. As a teenager I was caught in a dilemma I did not know what to do; how I should respond, and where will this problem lead us.

During those turbulent times in my life, I did not have anybody to whom I could cling on. But Jesus showed me a different way of looking to life. And the life he showed me is a life of service. I was invited to join the search-in of the Redemptorist Fathers. Since I was a child I really dreamed of becoming a priest. Without any hesitations I said yes to His invitation. I told my parents about this and they were incensed to hear my plans. Both of my parents were very anxious how my life would be if I leave. Eventually they allowed me to enter the seminary. I left my family. I left those problems and surrendered it to God.

Entering the seminary was a big sacrifice for me. I only had one thing in mind, to become a priest, nothing more nothing less. Yet it was not that easy to become one. It was during my seminary years that I get to know Jesus deeper and my relationship to Him became personal. Jesus revealed to me through this passage from the Gospel of Luke. The spirit of the Lord is upon me, He has anointed me to preach the Good News to the poor and the brokenhearted, liberty to captives, and sight for the blind. He revealed to me as the Christ for the poor and the most abandoned. Brothers and sisters, I offered my life to Him as an instrument of service; that my mission is to bring Christ’s plentiful redemption, that he is a God of second chances and a God who always accepts us no matter how sinful we are if we are open for genuine healing and confession.

Because of this brothers and sisters I accepted every task my formator would give me. If there was a need for a missionary in certain places, I was always open for service. Though I complained yet I was there preaching Christ’s fullness of redemption. I became an itinerant missionary, itinerant meaning homeless missionary. We get our shelter and basic needs in the people of our missionary area. I went into rural areas where I was militarily harassed and was suspected as a member of the New People’s Army, I was also part of organizations that fought against oppression, demolitions, and injustices to the poor. I spearheaded the campaign for solidarity of seminarians to fight injustices. We were conducting tutorials for the Badjao children in Cebu, and comforted the lepers who were kept in the infirmary without knowing that there are still people who care for them.

You know brothers and sisters, when we serve Jesus blessings would really come into our lives. I finished my college with honors, and I gained a lot of wonderful learning experiences from those missionary activities. Amidst all those things brothers and sisters, becoming a priest is not an easy task. It does not entail only your desire but it entails grace from God. During my fifth year in the seminary, I decided to take a short leave, away from the comforts of the religious life and into the realm of the real world. It was one of the most difficult struggles that I underwent. I even received criticisms and disappointments from my friends as to why I left the seminary. For over a year, I did not visit the Redemptorists because I felt that I became a disappointment for them. Yet God was still very good to me because he gave me a good job as a medical representative. Everything went well, until my parents separated.

It took me a long time to understand why these things are happening to me. I offered to Him years of my life, years where I should enjoy the youth in me. I was asking why. I instantly became the bred winner of the family. I forgot everything about spirituality and focused more of my time at work. For a time I failed to acknowledge Him as my God. I was so engrossed with philosophical reasons and absurdities of life that made me think of His inexistence. Yet Jesus is still persevering. He always finds a way for me to be back in His arms.

It was through a persevering sister did God showed his endless perseverance. I was invited by sister Triccie to be a part of this community, the Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon. I did not join, simply because I am not open to it. After another year she again invited me, she lured me with a free lunch and she even offered to pick me up from home. So I decided to join. And indeed the community was great. The brothers and sisters in this community showed me a different perspective of service. I met brothers who shared the same struggles as I do and is willing to listen and offer help if I needed one. I found new friends who showed me how to live a Christian life in this different context. My life started to change and I began to understand why things happen not in concordance to my desires, I accepted the things that I cannot change, and I worked to change the things that I can.

I know that I am still young in this community. But I am very much willing to offer another part of my life to serve this community and to serve our brothers and sisters. And still will I continue to say this… “The spirit of the Lord is upon me, He has anointed me to preach the Good News to the poor and the brokenhearted, liberty to captives, and sight for the blind.”

Semper Fidelis..! Sa Kanunay Dalaygon ang Diyos.

What would I say..? (My Birthday Message)

Hmmmmm... What would i say..? This would be my first words to say in this blog. Today is my birthday. I am 24. These are the things that I would like to specially mention; the significant events while I was 23.

1. My appendix was taken; 7 days no food and water, 3 weeks no work, and a slash on my tummy. Thankfully it wasn't that life threatening.

2. I joined the Ang Lingkod ng Panginoon. I met new friends, I met people with different religious points of view, I met people who made me feel special and who made me see God in a different paradigm.

3. I left GX Intl.; hard as it may but I have to move out of GX Intl. This company taught me a lot, and gave me a chance, a break in exposing myself to the corporate world. I had good friends with GX and I felt sad when I decided to leave. But I have to move into another stage.

4. Proud to Be with SMB. I applied and was hired by San Miguel Brewery Inc. they claim to be the employer of choice, yes they have their say in that matter. This time it's another culture, a different way of transacting sales, and a different attempt to understand and live with this culture.

5. I continue to live happily with my family, friends, and my new found God. I believe that indeed He has so many ways in showing me how much He loved me. I was non-receptive, I did not respond. But He is the God of second chances, the God who is persevering, the God that is faithful and true to His words.

With all these events that took place while I was 23, I thank the Lord for being always there for me. I thank the people who is always at my side when I needed a friend to cling on, you know who you are. More years to come. And let's drink to life!

Stream of Consciousness

I was about to cross in this very busy avenue. On a rush hour where everybody was moving so fast people had nothing in mind but to catch a jeepney and head for home. I was one of them. I hurriedly went into my car so I can find rest, away from the noise and inside the comfort of my home. I waited for the traffic light to turn green. I waited and stood there silently. I looked at the people around, the cars moving fast, the jeepneys trying to get more passengers, street vendors and other phenomenon taking place along that avenue. And I realized I was one of them.

I stopped and detached my self from that world. And I was able to realize something. The stream of consciousness. I was looking at the cars passing and thought of it as the stream of consciousness. The cars were like a stream. I looked at them and made a great reflection as to what has been happening in my life at present.

Before I was that person. The person who just stood and looked at how the stream of consciousness flow in front of me. Just taking a look at them, without any response, without any reflection. Simply detached. Then there are these people who would attempt to take me out of that detachment, yet I did not allow them. I remained firm. Standing and just looking. When you are in front of this stream of consciousness you would be given the two great opportunities one is to remain observant, look and observe then do what you want in accordance to your personal will, without allowing anybody from the stream to influence you. Another is to follow the stream, and let the stream take you wherever it wants you to be. It might end up happily sometimes in pain.

That remains to be one's choice. I chose to be observant of that stream, but along the stream somebody took me and led me into a place where a promise of fulfillment was given. Yes I chose to follow, to let the stream take me wherever it goes. Some ended up happily, I ended up in pain. I regret why I chose to follow, now I remain observant, vigilant, and cautious. The stream is inviting to follow again, I don't know what to choose.

The light turned green. I woke up in realizations along that avenue. The people hurriedly crossed the street. I looked at them choosing their paths, observing or following the stream. Me. I remain standing. Careful. Strong. This time I won't allow anybody from the stream to take me again. I would do anything under my own accord. I would still choose, in the future, to follow that stream but by the next time I would choose it, I won't let it take me into pain, for I know how it hurts. And I learned it the hard way.

Finding Joy In this Season

December last year, it was the last day of work before our Christmas break. On a bright sunny morning I was driving my car at a moderate speed on my way to our year end meeting. Just a block before our meeting place, I crossed an intersection when suddenly my car was hit by a fast approaching SUV. It was horrible. I could imagine myself as an actor of a movie when my car immediately turned three sixty degrees. Terrified I just held the steering wheel tightly, maneuvered quickly to avoid falling in a nearby canal.

I was trembling. Afraid and teary eyed. I stepped out and confronted the driver of the SUV. I yelled at him and blamed him for the accident. I called some of my counterparts and my immediate supervisor for rescue. Somebody called 911 and emergency ambulance went into the scene. Everybody was horrified by the amount of disaster that took place in that silent subdivision intersection. I was disoriented. The police came and conducted traffic investigation. He asked for my driver's license. I checked in the dash and found it missing. I checked my wallet and it was not there. In other words, my driver's license was lost. I could not provide my driver's license to the investigator. In the simplest term, I was driving without license.

So much to say about this experience. My December 2009 was traumatic. I went to attend mass, on a regular weekday. The priest was giving a sermon when he said that we should find joy, like the baby in the womb of Elizabeth who leaped with joy upon knowing Mary is conceiving the Messiah. It was a relief for me to hear those words. That was fitting for my situation. I was asking the Lord why it happened to me. Instead of giving me joy in that season, I ended up paying a huge amount for the repair of 'edwin', my car. I ended up broke. I was supposed to go shopping after that meeting to buy gifts for others and most specially for my precious self. I asked the Lord and he gave me that answer.

When I think that I have the greatest problem in the world, I simply look at others. Then I can say that indeed I am still blessed because I do not possess the problems that they have. Some even lost a loved one, lost their homes out of fire, experienced calamities and yet they ended up strong, standing up, remaining hopeful that they can recover.

That incident helped me realize that there are a lot of people around me who is willing to help, support, and most especially love me. They were just there waiting for me. It taught me to bu humble, to think that what I possess can easily be removed even in an instant. Finally it taught me to be joyful. Indeed I should be joyful. Joyfully waiting for the coming of my Christ. This Christmas, a year after that accident, my prayer is for me to constantly be joyful amidst the trials and circumstances that I face each day.

Soon I will shout: My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord. My spirit rejoices in God my Savior!