Think of the independence this would give me? I want to leave home. I was thinking of the savings I would have if I live in my own. I would be very please to see myself living in a small room or an apartment all by myself. There are so many things in life that I desire, so much that when the thought comes I become nostalgic of the way I lived my life, independently, years ago.
Now I live in the fortress of my family. The main reason why I want to leave this house is my quest for independence. Somehow this house, it would be awkward if I call this home knowing the events that took place in this house, became my comfort zone. I hate using this phrase... comfort zone... It reminds me of our 'big' boss reminding us always to leave our comfort zone. So much for that, this house is not my home. I want a home where I can be myself. A void where I can do what I want, when I want, and how I want things to happen.
This thinking is bothering me. I want independence. I am 22 and I am eligible to live by my own. But why on earth can't I leave this house..? It seems that I am a late bloomer. Most people experiencing this phenomenon are teenagers. I don't think I am one of them? Well maybe yes, I am one of them.
I just want to leave this house, the people and the experiences it comes with. I just want to simply be. And I cannot, I did not do it, I will not do it. Maybe this house is not my 'comfort zone', that this house is my danger zone, where I am put into burning oven. Cultural influences hinders me from making the leap forward. I cannot leave this house because of my family. They need me even if I think I would be proud in saying that i don't need them., I can live without them.
I just have to leave it here. Let go and let God.
Now I live in the fortress of my family. The main reason why I want to leave this house is my quest for independence. Somehow this house, it would be awkward if I call this home knowing the events that took place in this house, became my comfort zone. I hate using this phrase... comfort zone... It reminds me of our 'big' boss reminding us always to leave our comfort zone. So much for that, this house is not my home. I want a home where I can be myself. A void where I can do what I want, when I want, and how I want things to happen.
This thinking is bothering me. I want independence. I am 22 and I am eligible to live by my own. But why on earth can't I leave this house..? It seems that I am a late bloomer. Most people experiencing this phenomenon are teenagers. I don't think I am one of them? Well maybe yes, I am one of them.
I just want to leave this house, the people and the experiences it comes with. I just want to simply be. And I cannot, I did not do it, I will not do it. Maybe this house is not my 'comfort zone', that this house is my danger zone, where I am put into burning oven. Cultural influences hinders me from making the leap forward. I cannot leave this house because of my family. They need me even if I think I would be proud in saying that i don't need them., I can live without them.
I just have to leave it here. Let go and let God.
