Bro. Richie and My Troubled Car: A Farewell Accident

Who could have ever thought, that my friend/ confidante left yesterday for Manila and next week for Thailand. I was just wondering why he text and text me longing to see me on that Monday afternoon. I was busy though but I managed to skip work, as usual, and went out.
Bro. Richie Cuaton, C.Ss.R.

We ate at a dough nut house and went to Robinson's Cybergate for a little sight seeing.
Then followed the joy ride. At a super slow speed trying to cross the hump, something terrible from my right front drive wheel squeaked and blog blog blog... I stopped by and checked... Seemed nothing was wrong, i drove again. Squeak blog blog... It was from the wheel for sure this
time. i pulled over and checked again. My right front wheel is not anymore balanced and intact. Helpless and ignorant, I could not know what to do next. Out of nowhere, from the corner of the street, a man cried out and called us. He was bringing something in his hand. it was a spare part. He told me that my rubber bushing fell off.

Fortunately he knew how to repair it. He helped me and so was Bro. Richie. I felt really helpless.. It was my first time, and hopefully, the last to experience trouble with my car. I am aware that my car is not that new and she needs maintenance but it was an unexpected event.
Going back to my helplessness, that guy helped me. He pulled of the tire and checked. And he was right, it was the rubber bushing. He went home and took a flashlight and a jack for extra strength. Fortunately he was able to repair it, but he said that I need to put a bushing pin, to further support the volt. And out of coincidence right after the repair, the rain poured hard. I took a hundred peso bill and handed it over to the guy who incidentally helped us

Realization.

Consider the internal not much on the external.
I was about to buy, tomorrow a new car stereo with mp3, usb, and cd player. But now, I will think it twice.

Constant check of what is happening within.

Sometimes, I overuse my car without even considering what is happening within its engine and parts. It goes the same with myself. For a long time, under formation, I constantly check in what is happening within my self. But now, I halted it. Simply for the fact that I wanted to live a life outside of that processing and self examination, just trying to let myself, be.

Look at the positive effect on the incident rather than complain and dwell with the cons.

I was about to shout for anger why i passed over that silly hump, and why of all the many roads, i passed by that road. Well, I realized, thought the help of bro. Richie that it happened for a purpose. Though I believe that he just said that out of a defense for himself because he was the one who insisted that we should go that way instead of the major highway. So much for the blaming, but i did not blame him. Instead, I take this opportunity to thank him for taking me back to the road I used to take into, the road less traveled.

Thanks for that joy ride Bro Richie. I hope to see you soon. maybe on my visit to Thailand, or in your return next year...


The Glory That Was, With My Kia Avella...

Someone Sent Me a Blessing

My family and I went to the mall just for a little stroll this afternoon. I heard a very familiar voice while walking around the entertainment center. A modulated and a very kind voice. It was from a preacher. He seemed to be familiar to me. I thought of it as a "born again" charismatic group trying to conquer the mall audience. But it wasn't. It was from a Catholic charismatic group, I felt relieved... sigh. Finally a courageous man stepped in the middle of a noisy crowd walking and playing around the mall, and with quite a few audience talked about Mama Mary, the Saints, and Jesus Christ. Wow! Simply amazing.
I listened to his preaching and it was a sort of a recollection. He was a very good preacher. And still that familiar voice.
I wanted to listen to and to take a seat in the chairs provided but I did not and I cannot. My mom and my brother was with me. I just don't know why is it that when I am with them I could not stand on my faith. I cannot do what I love to do way back my years in the seminary. I pretended not to listen while leaning on the railings of the second floor area. I listened to him preach. And it was really timely for me to stand there and listen. It was a feeling of relief when I heard his preaching. He preached about the hands. The hands that is used in committing sin, the hands that received blessings from God, and the hands tat is an instrument by God to reach out his message. And the hands that will surrender unto Him all the troubles and struggles in life.
For a time I have been so proud as to think that I can do it on my own. It has been almost 3 months since I last attended the Mass. Simply because of my pride. I have my own set of problems and I believed I know how to solve them all. But what I do not know, or I pretended not to know, is the fact that I cannot solve them all, and I need a God who is waiting for my return to help me in resolving the struggles I have these days.
Then I felt healed. I was healed by my woundedness and anger. I felt a feeling of contentment and a feeling of being sent, sent for a mission. What is that mission? I still don't know. All i know is that what my mind is bothered about is, commission (sales incentives) and kunsimisyon (problems). he said to take them all away and focus on the mission given unto me. Again I looked back at my self, trying to reconfigure and to search for that mission within. Does it tell something to me? and if, what is it?
I went down and courageously asked the security guard, who is that man. He said he is a priest. I asked him who, he did not know. The other security personnel motioned, he is Fr. Orbos. And I was not surprised. He was indeed Fr. Jerry Orbos, SVD. The famous healing priest from Manila.
He was sent for me.

Why Can't We Be Computers, That Can Undo Things?

We were just talking with my co-worker when we suddenly enter into an existential conversation. For quite a time I have been searching for a friend in my field of work whom I can share with my resentments and struggles in this life. It started when she, out of conversations sake, that why can't we undo the things that we did? Why not we be like computers and cellphones, she added. As I was looking at my cellphone, she continued, I came up with this realization. How I wish I can be like a computer or cellphone. I can undo the events in my life which I do not like and change it into a more pleasurable or simply favorable one.
These words revolved in my mind. For a very long time, since my days in the university and in the college of philosophy, I used to think, if not all of us in the department, think that we are ahead from other people. We consider them as a lower type of being, in other words narrow thinkers. In philosophy we are taught to think and think not just for thinking's sake but for the quest for knowledge.
Then this lady, whom i never expected to ask me that silly question, asked me. I just kept silent, for a while. It bothers me till this writing. And it led me into one realization. We don't need to undo events in our life if we just value what the present gives us.
I seek things more than what I deserve, I'm not saying that I don't have dreams and ambitions in life, I do. These things stimulate my spirit to reach for a higher goal. What am I saying is sometimes, I do think of living a type of life that I see from others. I tend to compare myself with other people. Why is he living a life like that and me like this..? You know what I mean. And ironically, they say to me that they envy my kind of life. Well I think maybe they just don't know me that much. Which led me to a conclusion that I just don't know them that much that is why I envy their life. The answer revolves around the question and it returned to me. Then it led me to another question. Maybe I do not know my self that much?
My seniors in college wore a shirt with an imprint at the back saying, Know thyself... Socrates. Until now I still do not know myself fully.
Not knowing thyself fully creates the question, why not can we be computers or cellphones that can undo events from the past.

Con Ti Partiro

Last July 7, 2009 the whole world bade farewell to the king of pop music. He was an icon, an institution and a genius. Yesterday, July 9, 2009, I bade farewell to a confidante. My friend Julius Martin Malacas, C.Ss.R. will be leaving the land of promise, Davao, tomorrow July 11, 2009 for a mission in Thailand.
Indeed, he is a genius. He is considered to be the King of Theater and Musicals in the congregation. He brought to life the brilliance of European Theater in the city bombarded with cultural patriotism in theater and in arts. And I am so proud to be one of his fellows, who experienced the magic and the thrill of theater. JM, I will miss you so much!
JM in his most celebrated Musicale, The Reluctant Saint, Davao City

Back in college, 6 years ago when I first met JM. He was wearing his famous bath robe walking around the corridors of St. Clement's dormitory. As a freshies I was hesitant to approach him, a senior collegian. But he offered his hand to me and said, "JM diay ko... ikaw..?" And that was the beginning of the never ending friendship between two souls.
Then I get to know him more better when we were both part of the most prestigious committee of the college, the Academics and Publications Committee. He congratulated me and said, "I knew you will be with us." I never failed that trust that he gave unto me. We formulated new laws and policies within the college, and we faced different criticisms from the collegians, but we prevailed. We sustained growth and stability in the academic formation of the collegians. And we were lauded as an outstanding committee in implemention and consitency of the plans and policies within the college.
I could not forget how he led us in preparing the chapel during our turn for the BCC of the week. We were very creative to the point of making a man-made forest within the chapel. We also made it possible to set up a mini library, and a computer in the chapel as a decoration to emphasize the sponsorship of the Academics and Publications Committee in the mass. Again we were criticized by many but lauded by the higher administration.
He graduated college With Praises, Cum Laude. And when they arrived from the USC Cultural Center, I congratulated him and he whispered to me, "Dapat Cum Laude sad ka mu graduate ha...?" I just smiled but it became an inspiration. In second year college, I became consistent Dean's Lister and I made it. I graduated Cum Laude. Thanks JM for the inspiration and the trust you gave me.
I left the Redemptorist formation, and returned to my home town. And he was there too. Two friends separated by distance is now together in one place. I started working and he was always there to help me in prayers.
The stories, the struggles and the joys that we have shared will always be remembered, will always be treasured in the deepest part of my heart. We used to go out on a Saturday night movie. We shared a cup of coffee while reminiscing the past, conversing our different philosophical views of life and spirituality.
I will really miss the times that we go on a walk in the park. JM is a type of person that values conversations, just plain and simple conversations. I invited him to go with me to coffee or tea, but he would refuse. He just wanted to sit beside the stairs of the convent and chat with me. I really appreciate how he expresses in actions the phrase the best things in life are free. Yes he showed me how to appreciate simple things in my complex world.
Me and JM in this rare photo shoot on the feast of the Perpetual Help 2009

When I am in need of a friend he is there. I could not forget the time when I was in a drastic need for a blood transfusion for my sister who fell ill. He was there from the beginning till the success of the treatment. He helped me in convincing a Thai brother, Bro. Ole, to donate a blood for my sister. It was a noble act. An act not surprising for a noble person like him.
Now JM, as you will embark on a new chapter of your mission, I continue to pray for you. I pray for you to experience more of what has life to offer you and to cultivate those experiences so you can share it to others in need.

For another time, distance will separate the friendship we shared. But I am hopeful that in your return that friendship will never fade.


Farewell great King...

You Will Always Be Remembered...

Arevederci...