Sunday, July 19, 2009

Why Can't We Be Computers, That Can Undo Things?

We were just talking with my co-worker when we suddenly enter into an existential conversation. For quite a time I have been searching for a friend in my field of work whom I can share with my resentments and struggles in this life. It started when she, out of conversations sake, that why can't we undo the things that we did? Why not we be like computers and cellphones, she added. As I was looking at my cellphone, she continued, I came up with this realization. How I wish I can be like a computer or cellphone. I can undo the events in my life which I do not like and change it into a more pleasurable or simply favorable one.
These words revolved in my mind. For a very long time, since my days in the university and in the college of philosophy, I used to think, if not all of us in the department, think that we are ahead from other people. We consider them as a lower type of being, in other words narrow thinkers. In philosophy we are taught to think and think not just for thinking's sake but for the quest for knowledge.
Then this lady, whom i never expected to ask me that silly question, asked me. I just kept silent, for a while. It bothers me till this writing. And it led me into one realization. We don't need to undo events in our life if we just value what the present gives us.
I seek things more than what I deserve, I'm not saying that I don't have dreams and ambitions in life, I do. These things stimulate my spirit to reach for a higher goal. What am I saying is sometimes, I do think of living a type of life that I see from others. I tend to compare myself with other people. Why is he living a life like that and me like this..? You know what I mean. And ironically, they say to me that they envy my kind of life. Well I think maybe they just don't know me that much. Which led me to a conclusion that I just don't know them that much that is why I envy their life. The answer revolves around the question and it returned to me. Then it led me to another question. Maybe I do not know my self that much?
My seniors in college wore a shirt with an imprint at the back saying, Know thyself... Socrates. Until now I still do not know myself fully.
Not knowing thyself fully creates the question, why not can we be computers or cellphones that can undo events from the past.

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