It has been 2 years. August 3, 2007 the whole of Dumaguete City cried. The rain poured in so hard, and the sky was dark. I woke up in my room, looked at my packed bags, my empty cabinet. My batchmates were hugging. Including my so-called enemies. They sang our favorite song, Buksan and Next in Line with the strum of the guitar from Danilo. I took a bath, rushed to the refectory and brushed my teeth. I prepared myself for the last community activity in my seminary life, the morning prayer.
We prayed as a community of postulants and priests.
One thing I regret, I did not say a word of my exit. I just presumed that they knew it and i have no more business in telling them. But I forgot to thank them, the Redemptorist, my brother postulants, and the people who helped me in my journey. as I went out the prayer room, the other postulants came to me and tapped my shoulder. Without saying a single word, I knew what they meant. Teary eyed, I went to call on our driver, David, to drive for me which he never refuses. I did not expect that they would accompany me, my co-postulants. Danilo and Marvin then took the songbook and the guitar. That was the saddest moment of my life in the seminary, letting go.
Letting go of the people who journeyed with me.
Letting go of the brilliance I embraced inside.
Letting go of the structure I hated and loved.
Letting go of my bacthmates.
Letting go of the prestige and recognition of being a Redemptorist seminarian.
And most especially, letting go of the Redemptorist.
It was hard, Difficult.
Again they sang the songs. One of our staffs went and punched me on my shoulder, Ate Bebe said, why did you not inform me that you will leave? I won't have a chatmate while doing the laundry. I haven't realized how my talking made an impact to people but then. Well maybe that is the only thing I am good at, the talking.
It was still raining cats and dogs.
All of my co-postulant went with me to go to Sibulan pier. While inside the van, we were still singing and laughing. I laughed but I wept within.
Finally it's time for me to let go. I was blanked and empty when I waited in the terminal lounge for the barge. Looked at the see, the rain, and the people passing by. I wondered what will happen to me after leaving.
I arrived in Cebu without saying a word of my leaving. My benefactors, friends, and even my college director was not informed by me, personally. They were just informed after the news spread of my absence. They were disappointed if not all of them, they were sad and said I am a loss. Somehow I managed to make them laugh and to inspire them with my lifestyle. But I made my decision and it was final.
I just met a confidante, Ate Nancy, our very own college librarian. We met at Elizabeth Mall just to give her instructions with regards to the processing of my school documents and Transcript of Records. She hugged me and said her farewell. I ate my lunch and went directly to Mactan Airport.
I cried.
I will be leaving Cebu, the city I considered to be my home. The city where I learned to rise from a fall, how to live my life to the fullest, the city who taught me how to love unconditionaly.
I boarded the plane for Davao, August 3, 2007 4:30 pm.
I arrived after an hour of flight. And I saw my dad waiting for me.
Still the question revolves in my mind, what will happen to me after?
To Be Followed...
N.B.
This blog was supposed to be published on the second year anniversary, but because of a very long meeting on August 3, 2009, I mean it very long from 8am to 12:30 am, I was not able to publish this.
We prayed as a community of postulants and priests.
One thing I regret, I did not say a word of my exit. I just presumed that they knew it and i have no more business in telling them. But I forgot to thank them, the Redemptorist, my brother postulants, and the people who helped me in my journey. as I went out the prayer room, the other postulants came to me and tapped my shoulder. Without saying a single word, I knew what they meant. Teary eyed, I went to call on our driver, David, to drive for me which he never refuses. I did not expect that they would accompany me, my co-postulants. Danilo and Marvin then took the songbook and the guitar. That was the saddest moment of my life in the seminary, letting go.
Letting go of the people who journeyed with me.
Letting go of the brilliance I embraced inside.
Letting go of the structure I hated and loved.
Letting go of my bacthmates.
Letting go of the prestige and recognition of being a Redemptorist seminarian.
And most especially, letting go of the Redemptorist.
It was hard, Difficult.
Again they sang the songs. One of our staffs went and punched me on my shoulder, Ate Bebe said, why did you not inform me that you will leave? I won't have a chatmate while doing the laundry. I haven't realized how my talking made an impact to people but then. Well maybe that is the only thing I am good at, the talking.
It was still raining cats and dogs.
All of my co-postulant went with me to go to Sibulan pier. While inside the van, we were still singing and laughing. I laughed but I wept within.
Finally it's time for me to let go. I was blanked and empty when I waited in the terminal lounge for the barge. Looked at the see, the rain, and the people passing by. I wondered what will happen to me after leaving.
I arrived in Cebu without saying a word of my leaving. My benefactors, friends, and even my college director was not informed by me, personally. They were just informed after the news spread of my absence. They were disappointed if not all of them, they were sad and said I am a loss. Somehow I managed to make them laugh and to inspire them with my lifestyle. But I made my decision and it was final.
I just met a confidante, Ate Nancy, our very own college librarian. We met at Elizabeth Mall just to give her instructions with regards to the processing of my school documents and Transcript of Records. She hugged me and said her farewell. I ate my lunch and went directly to Mactan Airport.
I cried.
I will be leaving Cebu, the city I considered to be my home. The city where I learned to rise from a fall, how to live my life to the fullest, the city who taught me how to love unconditionaly.
I boarded the plane for Davao, August 3, 2007 4:30 pm.
I arrived after an hour of flight. And I saw my dad waiting for me.
Still the question revolves in my mind, what will happen to me after?
To Be Followed...
N.B.
This blog was supposed to be published on the second year anniversary, but because of a very long meeting on August 3, 2009, I mean it very long from 8am to 12:30 am, I was not able to publish this.
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