10 Things I am Thankful for this 2008

10. I Still Have Faith in God, Catholic Church, and Jesus.
9. My family is complete, healthy, and nothing bad has happened to them.
8. I still have my friends and I met new people with different perspectives in life's journey.
7. February 21, 2008: I passed the classroom training ad GX Intl. hired me as one of their Medical Representatives.
6. March 3, 2008, I was hired as a probationary employee.
5. I had my first investment, Moto Q8 cellphone.
4. July 28, 2008: First incentive, 21,000 PhP was deposited in my payroll ATM after I hit my target sales for June. First time in my life to I received such huge amount of money.
3. September 15, 2008: I received the letter from the company saying that I am already a regular employee.
2. November 12, 2008: I bought my own car, my first big investment.
1. I still have my life.

My LTO Experience

9:00 o'clock sharp, I was already in LTO to apply for a non-professional license. I went immediately to look for my friend working inside. He helped me and told me to pay. I spent four hours waiting, just to pay for the examination.

12:00 o'clock LTO has the strictest time schedule. 12:00 o'clock sharp LUNCH BREAK. Be back at 1 pm..

1:15 pm. Finally I was called by the cashier and paid Php 168 not knowing that the fee is for the examination fee...

1:30 pm, the exam started. I was given the option to attend the seminar or to take the exam immediately. I was so much in a hurry, that I told them that I will take the exam immediately. With so little knowledge on traffic rules, signs, and violations, I took the exam.

2:00 o'clock Over confident that I would pass. I waited outside.

2:10 pm The guy from the exam room went out and called some names. They were so happy that they passed. Then he returned to the room. A few minutes later, he went out and called 5 name, one of them was mine. He informed me of my score. "30/40 ang passing points, 29/40 ang score nimo, balik ka in after 1 month, bayad usab then retake." With just one point lacking I felt like the world stumbled over me. I failed the exam.

2:15pm I went to my friend. He told me his inside informed him already, that I failed. I did not follow the simplest instruction my friend told me. Don't shade answer sheet if your not sure of your answer. So I'll just return after a month.

The date is January 23, 2009, my 22nd birthday. I hope I'll have my license as a birthday gift.

What I Hate About Christmas?

And so this is Christmas...

The time to pretend to be happy even if not.

You better not pout, or else Santa won't give you give.

You should join your Christmas party or be an outcast.

The time for compulsory Kris Kringle, minimum of Php 500

Groups will come to the house and sing carols, in exchange of... (envelopes, you know what it means..?)

I just don't know why we limit ourselves in viewing Christmas as a time for shopping, gift giving, donations, sponsorships, decorations, feasts, gathering, parties, and etc.

Why not face the world as what it is on Christmas Day. Forget what the media is saying that Christmas should be like this and like that. It gives one a certain kind of frustration,which we often disregard.

So what if your sad during Christmas? So what if you're alone in your room? As long as you remember the essential of Christmas, the birth of Jesus Christ, that is if you claim Him to be your savior, Christmas will still be Christmas.

What I hate about Christmas? It's idealism gives people frustrations.

Twilight again!

I know.. Twilight has been the fad of today's bloggers... Well anyway! I just finished watching the movie. And it was what? Amazing! The story is good, but it revolves around a simple setting and simple characters, which makes it better...
The actor is great in doing his scary-arousing-looking-eyes that made the girls in the movie house shout like opening their skirts..
Nice one! I love the lines, especially the love lines of the vampire to the lady.. its paradoxical and metaphorical.. and it's my first time to here those lines on screen... love it! so much!

P.S.
Can't wait to grab a copy of the book.. I'll read it..!

P.S. 2
Special thanks to Ms. Jo Sagang for paying my ticket. Libre ako niya. may naiwan pa kasi sa bonus niya eh...

Old Virgin Who Went Into an OB GYN Clinic

Personal Experience...
I went into the clinic to cover this certain OB Gynecologist one day.. Suddenly the secretary was laughing out hard.. and went outside. I was wondering why... I heard the doctor saying, "lie down properly ma'am.. I'll be using a speculum for virgin.."
The old woman, which i haven't recognized until she went out, was screaming... "agaaaay.. agaaaay..." Then the doctor said, "relax ma'am relax...." Still the secretary was laughing silently as she made fun with the virgin old lady.. She told me discreet;y "virgin pa man gud.."
Before virginity was an honor.. but today... ambot na lang...

Buti na lng at virginal speculum ang ginamit... or else, the old virgin would experience a hell out of fun!
Moral:
never allow yourself to grow old virgin... or the secretary might laugh at you!

A Very Busy Weekend November. 7-9, 2008

Friday Noon
Visitors arriving from Cebu... Lunch at Chippen's
Entertain and prepare the guest rooms for their stay..

Friday Night (heavy rain)
The Reluctant Saint The Musical in Davao first staging night...
Celebration party at Mcdonald's Friday night went home 3:30 am.

Saturday Noon
Integration with the Redemptorist parking kids.
Went to Bay walk and Time's Beach Videoke.

Saturday Night
Reluctant Saint The Musical second staging night Saturday..
Celebration, Joy ride round Davao City; went home 4:30am

Sunday Noon
Went to Samal Sunday 12pm, accompanied Kriz to the Airport 3pm.

Sunday Night
People's Park with JM and Mayngel (Mayngel wept)

Monday Dawn
Work for a living...
Monitor sales...

Breakfast meeting this morning..

Oh! How I wish I could sleep the whole day tomorrow!

For Jayson, Jo-i, Danilo, James, King, Jack, Dhon2, and Joie John

We are the Liguorian Dreamers...

These were the winning phrases we shout as we battle different games, cheering contest, contest, batch activities... These were the words that trembled the portals of SACFH as we grabbed championship matches and prestigious cups and tournament.

We persevered and that made us distinct. the Liguorian Dreamers speaks of leadership, supremacy, dominion, wealth, prestige, and most of all Honor!

I miss you so much guys! How I wish I could spend a day with all of you so we can talk about life after our previous life.

Jayson is currently in Cebu, working as a call center agent with a managerial position in his company. He's fortunate to be working in Cebu. he's still connected with the circle of friends of the Liguorian Dreamers. He pursues his study of Law in University of San Jose Recoletos.

Jo-I had worked in Makati City for 6 months as a Human Resource Management Staff in Accenture the worlds leading BPO with Tiger Woods as its endorser, He resigned from work and currently resides in Bacolod City settling with his beloved Matet and his family.

Danilo, the last thing I heard of him, worked as a HR Staff in a construction firm in Iloilo City. He then resigned hoping he'll be back in formation.

Dhon2 is now living in a very different world, but I am sure that his real world. He belongs there and I know that the place means hardships and dangers, He still love it and will pursue his career there in th Philippine Military Academy.

Jack, works as an elementary teacher in Sacred Heart School of Jesuits in Cebu. (I'm not so sure with this, can somebody help me figure this out..)

Joie John works at a BPO firm based in Davao city. The last thing I heard on him was that he has been in charge of recruiting computer specialist and my cousin saw him in a Job Fair interviewing applicant.

King, son of the Vice Mayor, works as a social worker organizing farmers and rural folks in Davao Del Sur. He works for a political figure in Davao Del Sur. He let the formation after the first year and he pursued his degree in Social Work in Ateneo De Davao University.

James.... I saw him 6 months ago caressing his girlfriend in gaisano mall of Davao. I was on my way to the escalator when we saw each other. I haven't seen him for years since that moment. Our eyes stood still and we only shared laughter and memories of our good old day. He said he's doing his Nursing education in saint Mary's School of Tagum City.

And yours truly, Daniel, works in a pharmaceutical company as a Medical Representative and is currently based in Davao City. Looking forward to see all of these guys...

I need someone to watch over me...

I am still not happy... I don't know why.
I have wealth
I have pleasures...
I have a stable job that gives me more than enough income for a living...
What else do I lack..?
Love...
hahaha. I still do not have a partner in life...
I'm in searching mode...
available pko ha...
There's somebody I'm longing to see...
I hope she'll turn out to be..
I hope she'll watch over me...
I'll try again. I hope it'll work.

I dread the Sun Cellular postpaids for GX Medreps

Our company is providing us a free cellular phone hooked up with sun cellular postpaid plan 350. The package includes unlimited call and text sun-to-sun and a free 250 text messages to other networks..
The good thing is, the company will pay for the monthly subscription rate..

We have no other obligation except to answer their calls and reply to their text messages..
That's the thing that I am worried about... I don't know what is my feeling toward it. I feel happy and excited but dominated by anxiety. I feel the threat of being monitored in my every movements and whereabouts. I hope I am just exaggerating but this is the dreadful fact I oversee..

I hope it's not..

I fear it will be...

On Friendsters' Comments and Testimonials...

I can still remember, like 4 years ago...

Nalingaw lng ko basa basa sa mga testi sa ako saunang sauna pa... binata pa jd kaau ang mga testi.

Nya dli pa mn ana sauna nga himuun na ug messaging center ang comments and testi. sauna testi, testi ra jd. Nya serious kaayo.. kay mura jd ug testimonial sa imohang kinabuhi..

Nya naa pay mga friends nmo nga mag message for a testi.. mamugos pa jd.. waaaahhhh! lingaw!

karon haaay.... gihimo nmn ug message center. haha.

Anyway, that's the changes of life...

At the brim of my sanity...

I'm disoriented...

It was the first time that i intentionally throw our glass.

It was filled to the brim, with water, by our stupid house helper.

I threw the water on the floor... still discontent, I threw the glass.

My mom went out and asked what happened, I did not answer.

dami kong problema...

In my family.

Plus naa pa ni akong lolo na nagdag-dag na sd ug problema... Ug mamatay dw xa pikatan dw ko niya ug mu visit ko sa iyang wake... As if I care at all, as if I will visit him...

Haaaaaaaayyyyy...

Stupid things are happening to me.

I'm not happy with my life.

P.S.

Naa pay akong manager na sige follow up ug hospital bookings na iyaha mn unta nang job ang mag conduct ug bookings sa mga hospital pharmacies...

He gave me his book

"Before he left, he secretly inserted it in my bag. And as I arrived home from work, I opened my bag and surprisingly i saw the book by Paolo Coelho, The Witch of Portobello...."

I remember when we were in Dumaguete City, a year ago, we dropped by this newly opened National Bookstore. We saw the new book of Paolo Coelho entitled The Witch of Portobello. Poor guys, we couldn't buy for we were broke those days. Anyway, my friend gave me a visit here and I was really surprised when I saw him reading the book we dreamt of buying back in Dumaguete.

Now he gave me the book. As I looked at the back cover I saw his message and read:

9/27/2008

Dan,

Thank you very much for your warm welcome in your home.

After for sometime,our friendships strengthen even if were apart. i hope that this friendship, together with Jayson, will last a lifetime.

Take this as a sign of our endless search for truth, life, love, and meaning in our existence...

"celebrity friends"

Jo-I

To the one I love...

I just talked with my ex-gf. masaya ako.. For a very long time, di kmi nagkausap... Buti pa xa na alala niya na 3 years na pala since nagkahiwalay kami... I've been up to many relationships since hers, i committed sinful acts...

But honestly, my love for her still remains in me.. and now that I am ready, i will take her back... I will really take you back.. let's clear the dirt of the past and let's polish the brightness of our future.. I still love you.

My friend is coming to visit me...

My best friend from Bacolod just called me up and he'll visit me here in Davao City.

I'm so excited.. Finally we'll meet again. And we'll have lots of things to talk about...

The last time we were together was July last year back in Dumaguete. A month after he left, I also left Dumaguete for good... hehe. astig!

See you Jo-I.

Small Things Matter Most

I received a packaged from a very close friend from Cebu City. Before I left Cebu City, they were the people who really helped me a lot in pursuing my dreams in life. I'm so sorry if i wasn't able to say a word of goodbye as I left...

Going back to the package, it contained simple things that they gave as a gift for me...

The packaged had:

4 packs of Chicharon from Carcar City, Cebu

4 packs of Ampao also from Carcar City, Cebu (Both are really my faves)

2 bars of imported Dove soap, with their names embedded on the carton.

A pair of beach shorts for me.

A pair of pyjamas for me also (I'm wearing it now).

A pair of shorts for my mom since they knew her get up and style.

They also included a bottle of roll-on deodorant (which I hate to use for i love using sticks)

And finally a copy of Sunstar Super Balita with their pictures rallying against Pure foods Inc. over their parcel of land.

Oh..! I almost forgot to mention the 1/4 kilo of Bulad from Taboan.

My illness went away for a while as I was so excited and eager to open their pasalubongs... hehe.

Thank you so much girls! You really helped me realize the importance of simplicity coming from the heart -small things matter most.

In the end if I die, the world won't cease to exist...

I am really worried. Anxious as to what will happen 2 days from now. How i wish i could write all of my worries and anxieties in this blog, but I tend to keep it by myself. i decide things under my own accord. My own will and understanding. Seldom would my friends, if I have one, hear me asking some advise or counsel in my every day doings.

I keep it by myself and suddenly every one would be stunned by my decisions in life.

I believe that ones turning point in life should be made by the person himself. Not by any other entity, fate, or whatsoever. One should make it on his own. Keep it, and reveal it as if nothing happens.

In the end if I die, the world won't cease to exist...

Out of Habit

The gods had condemned Sisyphus to ceaselessly rolling a rock to the top of a mountain, whence the stone would fall back of its own weight...

Myth of Sisyphus, Albert Camus

I continue to exist out of habit... Where the hell did I get this quote? Ah... I remembered Dr.Espina discussing existentialism of Sartre..?I have forgotten already those great philosophers... Anyway my point is this- I continue to live out of habit.

And it proves to be effective in succeeding and living meaningfully, if it's a necessity to live and have a meaningful life, in this absurd world. Indeed it is absurd! I see people suffering and pity them, yet I do not do anything to help them ease their suffering. Instead I disregard them as if I do not see anything. And yet I exist.

I know that this world is a temporary place, by saying temporary I mean that there is or are other place/s where I can live after this world. And yet I work so hard in order to continue living this hell of a kind life. Absurd indeed.

I continue to live as a habit. Every last Saturday of the month I make my plans for the succeeding months work. The we go to our boss' house for him to sign our plan. Then we give our signed plan to our branch coordinator. When approved I follow my plan. I wake up 7am prepare for work. Then go to Dr. Dela Cruz for my first coverage of the day.. then Dr. Sanchez, Lagmay, Tiu, Brato, Yarra.... until I reach my target 20 doctors a day... then go home, eat, prepare samples, then sleep. Then the next day same doctors in the morning but new doctors in the afternoon, and end up with the same doctors for the evening coverage... either dr. Solis, Manalo, or Ho. Absurd? Yes. But I still do it

I get my salary every 13th and 27th of the month. My operational allowance is sent every 3rd and 17th of the month. I receive money frequently and I spend them very fast also. Absurd? Yes. But I still keep on doing it.

i know my life is absurd but I keep on living an absurd life. Why? Simply because I am not conscious of it. Looking at the heavy stone as it falls down the hill after a hard labor of pushing it upward.

Only then will I find consciousness if I sit and reflect. Bending back the events and things I do, internalizing and reflecting.

I Still Love My Job Though

I feel so sad. I failed to hit even my hundred percent target sales.

I failed.

I failed.

I failed.

But I realize that somehow my job is getting in touch with my heart. I now feel depression and sadness when I did not hit my target. Actually, before I really didn't care if I would make it or not, now it's different.

I see this as a growth.

Next cycle watch out!

I still love my job though!

Ahap Kuhap!

Ahap Kuhap is a Badjao translation of the word Good Day...

I wrote this article during the peak of my noble career. Just wanna share it with you guys...

The area is along the gates of the SRP (South Reclamation Project). The Badjao’s doesn’t have a descent home. They settle only under the comforts of their plastic tents or trapal. They used to have their houses along the shores of Mambaling but a fire took place last May and burned their houses, many died from drowning and sicknesses. The government planned to resettle them along the shores of Tongo Island, adjacent to Cebu city. Until now they are not transferred to the relocation site.

We started the apostolate with the help of ate Anne, Redemptorist lay worker. We opened it by helping her distribute the school supplies for the children. The children were eager and thankful for the supplies we gave. At that instance I dreamt a Badjao teacher, nurse, and a doctor. These are their dreams that they told me.

Every time I go to the area, I can see from afar the children running towards me bearing their smiles and laughter. I wave as I eagerly meet them and greet them Ahap Kuhap, which means Good Day! It’s heartwarming for me to hear them call me kuya. With a Muslim accent words they try to communicate with me.

Mariama and Jan-jan are my tutees. They meet me with their bags loaded with books and notebooks for the tutorials. I teach them more on Science, Math and English, which reminds me of my long forgotten elementary days.

As they open their books, it rings a bell in me of the great desire of the children to learn. I am an instrument by God to help the children succeed in their studies. I always encourage them to study hard for it is their key to progress.

Kuya naa ko’y assignment is the usual words I hear from them; words of inspiration coming from the mouths of the innocent children, words of encouragement to continue my vocation, and words that continuously remind me of the great mission lying ahead of us.

The Badjao Apostolate taught me to be a person for others: a person called to respond to the innumerable needs of the people.

A great dream lies ahead and the fulfillment of the dream is in need of dreamers, who dreamt not only for themselves but also for others.

Phenomenology of Loneliness

My final paper in Philosophical Psychology.

There is a man standing among huge crowds. He does not know the person he is with. The crowd is very happy with the entertainment given to them and he is also happy about it. He felt happiness but deep within he feels lonely. He is alone though he is in a crowd. He feels rejection, he is looking for meaning in his life, he has just broken a relationship, and now he is flying away from insight. He feels he is alone, though he is in a crowd…

This term paper utilizes a philosophical approach in viewing loneliness. Mainly this paper answers the questions: What is loneliness?, What are the factors that contribute to loneliness?, who experiences loneliness?, how does one feel when one is lonely?, why does man experiences loneliness?, and how does he overcome loneliness? The author also uses concrete approaches to further explain and expose his phenomenology of loneliness.

The Random House unabridged dictionary, defines loneliness as a state of being lone; solitary; without company or companionless. It goes on to say that loneliness is a state of being destitute of sympathetic or friendly companionship. In my own reflection, this definition is not enough to explain the term loneliness. As this paper progresses, it will try to find out the deeper and more comprehensive meaning of the word loneliness. Before proceeding, however, let us first answer the question: Who experiences loneliness?

Loneliness as a state of being alone can be experienced by every animal, either brute or man. We can observe that when a puppy is taken away from its mother the puppy becomes lonely. It does not want to eat or play, and we spend sleepless nights because of its loud cries. It is the same with the mother. The mother feels the same loneliness. It misses its baby and cries all night long. In the case of brutes, loneliness is quickly overcome. But this is not the case with human beings. Overcoming loneliness is a much more difficult task. This is because man is not only rational but also emotional in nature.

Man is an animal with reason and emotion. Man has a great need to feel loved and to be an instrument of love. I believe this is the main factor why man experiences loneliness. Man is an animal that cannot exist by himself alone. In the words of Gabriel Marcel, the ‘thou’ exists for me and I exist for the ‘thou’ and we exist for each other to the same degree. A man’s entire life is a proof of this. The famous movie ‘Cast Away’ is a great example.

A man spends years on an island all by himself. He searches for a companion, a friend, but nobody is there. He is all alone. Then he finds a ball on which he paints the face of a man. This is the ‘man’ with whom he talks. Throughout the movie, the theme persists: the nature of man as one of communion. The English metaphysical poet argued when he wrote: no man is an island. Truly no man can live alone, all by himself. Man is a social being. He needs to be with somebody with whom he can share. Maybe a pet or a co-human being, but he must be in communion with other social beings.

When one is in communion with another being, he is trying to create a bond between them that cannot be sundered by trials and/or time. For the instant a relationship fails to grow and develop, the man who offers himself feels lonely. Something within him is missing. I would like to share my concrete experiences of this. Some years back I had a girlfriend who made me feel inspired and happy. Finally I had somebody with whom I was in communion with. I finally found the one that I thought would last forever. I had found the perfect partner for the rest of my life. We were so happy in the presence of each other. I could say that my existence was really authentic when I was with her. She was the most perfect person that I had ever been with. And then one day we decided to break up. Our relationship no longer worked. I could not figure out why, and then I felt lonely. Many sleepless nights I lay, thinking of her, of our times together; the joy, laughter. Such beautiful experiences and memories! I found life miserable then and maybe she did too.

Why do I give this example? This is my attempt to explain further the first factor that I consider brings about loneliness. We were both in love with each other and this love helped to give meaning to our lives. We were both in communion. We created a bond that we thought could not be broken. But the bond of love was been broken. We spent many months trying to recover from the situation. When memories of the days we spent together in the canteen and in the gymnasium refused to be overcome, I felt very lonely indeed.

Another factor that can bring about loneliness is man’s desire to belong. One may ask, when I find myself in a crowd of thousands of people, am I happy? To answer this, let us first define happiness. To be happy is to exist authentically, to exist as a man of relationship, to belong in a society, lives in loving and caring. When one is in a crowd, can he be lonely? Yes, when he is a stranger in it. This is because man by nature desires to belong. As previously stated, man is a creature who is rational, emotional, and in need of being in communion. Belonging to a group or a community is a humble start to being in communion. What happens when one does not belong? One feels definitely lonely. What follows is my own experience of loneliness because of not belonging.

In grade six, I was transferred from one section to another section. This meant having new classmates, although a few from my original class had been transferred along with me. There came a long period of adjustment. I felt that I did not belong in the group. An incident occurred that seemed to prove this. My classmates were engaged in a taga-tagaanay game. I wanted to join but they would not allow me. I asked why and they said that they simply did not want me to joining them. I felt so lonely! I stopped participating in class activities. I did not feel that I was part of the class. I wanted to fly away from them. I left after graduation. I enrolled in another school and there I found happiness and meaning in my high school life. Upon reflection, after our lessons in Philosophical Psychology, I believe that what I did was wrong. I flew away from insight. I flew away from the truth about myself. I did not ask myself why my classmates rejected me. Maybe it was something I said? Maybe it was my attitude? I still remain puzzled. I moved to a new school and left the truth in my old school. Until now I am still haunted by the incident of that afternoon game. I am in college now but I can still feel that loneliness within me, gripping me as it did that long time ago.. This concrete example illustrates the intense need of man to feel he belongs in the group he is with. If this need cannot be satisfied the feeling of loneliness comes in.

The next factor will bring us to my experience inside the seminary. This factor is giving meaning to one’s life. Loss of meaning can be due to many reasons. Among these is discontentment in life. During my years in the seminary, I have seen many of my co-collegians leave. I had asked them why and they said that staying had lost its meaning. They wanted to experience life outside. In other words they felt loneliness. This type of loneliness is easy to figure out because it manifests itself in one’s personality and behavior. Although they seemed to be happy, smiling gaily and enjoying themselves, but deep inside them they felt emptiness. They yearned for freedom and independence. They felt lonely and wanted to leave the seminary. It was not that they were ‘bad guys’; on the contrary they were just honest enough to express their dissatisfactions and desire to discover their lives outside the walls. And when I see them now, I sense contentment and happiness. Victor Frankl wrote a book entitled Man’s Search for Meaning. In the book he showed the terrors of the holocaust and how these affected the lives of the Jews imprisoned in the concentration camps. The people lost their meaning in living. They were lonely inside because they were not certain of the situation of their family members and loved ones. Their last resort was to kill themselves, to put an end to their lives and eliminate the feeling of loneliness. This is again a situation of flying away from insight, flying away from the truth.

The last and final factor that creates a feeling of loneliness is man’s living an inauthentic self. Before further elaboration, let us first answer the question, how is it to live an authentic self. The word itself is self explanatory; it means to live with a self true to the others, and also to the self. To live an authentic life is to live within the boundaries of truth regarding the self. An authentic man does not go away from it. He does not wear masks, pretending to be somebody other than himself. Basically it is honesty of the self and to others. Being honest means being aware of one’s self; one’s weaknesses and strengths. Such a man can have an authentic relationship with another. He has no need of masks and aliases; He knows the truth about himself and is secure in this knowledge.

Why do I consider this a factor? It is mainly because I see this in the situation of many people in our society today. People are not always what they appear to be. They try to be rich but in reality are not. They pretend to be somebody that they are not. This can be a cause of loneliness because it is another way of flying away from insight. This creates a damage to the self.

Let me cite the example of a companion in the seminary who had pretended to be a rich family who owned a large piece of land and two cars. All of us seminarians believed him at but later we found out that his family was not rich as he led us to believe. He is now hiding and the authorities are looking for him He owes co-seminarian’s large sum of money. His monthly payments to the seminary and tuition fees for three semesters remain outstanding. How is he feeling now? Is he happy or contented with his life? Or does he feel lonely? I think he is lonely right now. He might pretend to be happy out there but inevitably he is lonely within.

Having given the factors that create loneliness in man, the next question to be answered is: what is it like, this feeling of loneliness? Definitely loneliness is a feeling of emptiness, the feeling that one is lacking something in his life, the feeling that something needs to change and he must it. Loneliness eventually leads to depression if one does not address the problem. Some of this may create a ‘psychosomatic illnesses. Medical science gives us data showing that loneliness and other emotional problems are causes of heart attacks, cancers, and other forms of illnesses. I once made an observation to a friend who had broken up with her boyfriend. She was so lonely that she could neither eat nor sleep. She did not care to talk to other people. She simply wanted to sit and stare. She fell ill. She realized this only after having felt pain in her stomach. She found out that she had developed an ulcer.

In summary, here are four factors that can be the sources of loneliness in man. First by, the breaking of a bond; secondly, man’s desire to belong; thirdly, losing one’s meaning in life, and fourthly living an inauthentic life. Having established the factors another task would be to find out means to survive and overcome loneliness.

Rudolf Otto had said: man is religious by nature. I quote this because I recommend man going back to God, and offering the loneliness that one experiences so that God may lift this burden. Our Lord Jesus Christ had experienced loneliness. This was evidenced by His agony in the garden. What Christ had undergone is a great example to us. He offered all his troubles and burdens to His Father in heaven. He asked God to “take the cup away from Me if it is Your will, but Thy will be done.”

In the last analysis, our feeling of loneliness is a proof that there is something above us that can take this away; and this is Jesus Christ, both human and Divine. This feeling is a feeling to be one with Him, to belong with Him, to find meaning in living with Him, and to be authentic to Him. All the factors causing loneliness would bring us back to our yearning of our hearts.

Hours have passed and he is still standing in the crowd. He pauses and reflects. Now he goes back into his self, deeper and deeper he goes… Then he finds out he is not alone… He has no reason to be lonely because God is with him.

-danielangelolao

I'm Waiting for the President

Governor Generoso Bridge 1 was broken (I don't know the right term) last year. The bridge is the gateway for trade and commerce in Davao City. They destroyed the whole bridge and promised to replace it in just 3 months.

Well the city is still waiting for the promised bridge. Our city mayor said he can provide us with a new bridge because the city has money. House Speaker Nograles came into the scene and said he should be the one to initiate because it's part of his district. Then suddenly local government units said that the right office to construct the bridge is the DPWH (Department of Public Works and Highways) or as radio commentators would say (Daghan Project Way Human-human).

The city suffered for a year with a heavy traffic and delayed commerce. They started to construct the bridge last April and promised to have it all set by August.

Fortunately.

The bridge is ready for use today. Everything is set for the use of the bridge to avoid the heavy traffic it would give for the opening of classes tomorrow. We can't use the bridge, however, because WE ARE WAITING FOR THE PRESIDENT to inaugurate the opening.

STUPID!!!!!!!!!

June 12 or 9?

As a child I always look forward for the holidays... because that simply means no class! That was the meaning of holiday for me... Until now I still have that mentality of looking forward for the holiday and all the "days" in the calendar...

i.e. bonifacio day, Araw (day) ng kagitingan, Valentine's day (of which we don't hold classes in our high school for the reason we all don't know), and many other days... including Independence day, which I love so much because imagine, the classes had just started and we have a day with no class because of the independence day...

Anyway, with all those days, no work and no classes were ordered by the president. Mainly the reason is for us to spend time to honor and simply to recall the momentous, heroic and meaningful event that happened in our history.

So is it rightful to change the Independence day (which historically and meaningfully fall every 12th of June) into June 9. Just because the 9th is placed on a monday and for us to have a long weekend. As a laborer I love it but as a Filipino, I hate it.

June 12 is the birthday of our Nation. The fulfillment of our long cry for democracy and freedom. To change that day simply means taking the essence of our Filipino-ness.

Yearning of the Child In Me

Ever since I always dream of having a Game Boy. As a child I dreamed of Game Boy (B/W model), I entered high school I dreamed of Game boy Color, in college Game Boy Advance... and finally Game Boy Micro.

Now that I am working and have the money... i will buy that thing. Not because I need it but just to satisfy the inner child in me... yearning to have that Micro.

How I wish I can have that sleek little gadget...

Sadly it costs P3,700.00. Where the hell would I get that amount? Three months ago I bought a brand new cellphone worth P15,000. I could have bought the P4,000 for a Micro and bought a cheaper P11,000 phone.. huhu.

Anyway, my desire is burning so much!!!!!!!!!

Arrrrrggggggggggghhhhhh. I still can't have that Game Boy.

Inner child behave. You wait for the right time to have that Game Boy.

Maybe a week or two, or maybe next month would do...

It's Raining Cats and Dogs

Now we're paying the price! Global warming is killing us.

Pagkagrabeh sa traffic sa lungsod ng Dabaw! Because the streets are flooded by water.

Detailing......

Feeling ko lang hawod na kaayo ko mu-detail. (feeling lang ha... pwede mali pwede pud tama) Basta kaatubang lng nako ang mga Big Papas.... (reference on the meaning to France) Pero ambot na lng jd ug kaatubang na nko ang mga doctors. Kung maayo ko mangistorya sa Big Papas sa mga doctors kulang pa jd ug hunat and bwelo... hehe.

Cge lng kay i'm on my way to learn how to get sales ang drugstore bookings... hehe.

Ma-datu na jd ko ani... yaaaa!!!!!!!!!

Renovated...

I met my old friends yesterday... They were my batch mates in high school. They knew me in a different way. They knew the person I had before.

I really believed that I am different now. I am that Daniel who reconstructed himself and renovated the broken parts. The Daniel that repaired the broken parts of his life.

I found out that the past is still connected with me.. hehe. I don't know but I found it so enjoyable. To be the exactly same person as they knew me... God it was so fun! Being connected with the past in the context of the present.

We are like cathedrals. There are parts of our life where we renovated ourselves only to find out in the present that it was a big mistake. But what we intend is to do good for ourselves, not harm but for the betterment...

Dead People and My Job

As I said, I work as a Medical Representative. Part of the job is to roam around the hospitals looking for some opportunity to promote my products to doctors.

While we were falling into a line along the corridors of Ricardo Limso Hospital, it happened that a cadaver passed along our way. We were very noisy chatting and laughing, and suddenly they passed.

Silence.

The corridor immediately was turned into a silent sanctuary. Morbid, as what my co-worker told me. I also felt terrible and suddenly felt fear and anxiety. Then the question of existence revolved again and again in my mind.

After this world what will happen to human beings? Or will 'something' happen to us, or maybe nothing follows after our life on earth.

Two hours later, I visited an OB Gynecologists.. And the secretary told me that she went to the delivery room. Another baby was born.

The world. I don't know.

Death and Birth.

Birth and Death.

After that? I don't know.

A thought while brusing my teeth

I was brushing my teeth when I looked at myself in the mirror. I recalled an event that happened days ago.

I was talking to people, very 'religious' people, while listening to their words. Talking about the second coming... That we are in the so-called Final Days. They were so afraid... I am not..! Why should I...

Going back to my brushing....

I thought of Satan as being used by "GOD" to satisfy His need of being recognized as a "God". Does He really need it? I don't think so.. we just created worship, prayer, the famous line "for the greater glory of God"... for us to know that there is God... Where in fact there is none..................

In the conversation again........

There was this lady who told me that the Bible is the moral authority...

I don't think it is...

I just nodded and nodded so I could not disappoint her with my disapproval... I seek for their approval so I just nodded and they were very happy that I approved of what they said.

In fact I did not...

While typing this blog...

I found out that indeed God exist

But I kill God...

Making God not to exist.

My Work and Me

Work, work and work... does this life really means work? Everybody revolving around me is work. I couldn't even find time to simply be alone and get in touch with my Self... 'Self', are you still there? I think you're lost again... I'll find you as soon as I finish my work...

When will I finish my work? or would it be right to ask, will working ends? I don't know. I think it will, when we get in touch and connected again to our 'Self', th lost self waiting to be found.

For quite a time I wasn't able to write on my blog.. simply because of my work... walang katapusan na trabaho... I find meaning, however, in my job so far. I work as a medical representative. Always busy, always on the go, running back and forth round the corridors of the hospital. I even rush from the ground floor to the 9th or even 10th floor just to promote my medicine to the doctor and get his signature as a proof....

Very nice work. I simply love it. However, there are many part of myself that is compromised because of my new work. Because of this work I failed to look at my other works -work for my 'Self'...

i guess this is what Karl Marx was trumpeting years ago... alienation... But I guess alienation would not come if one would not allow it to come... Alienation of the self from the self, from others, from species being, and I have forgotten the last one... hehe. Guess I have to review my notes in Philosophy of Communism.

Way mahimo...

Ginoo ko....

Ambot nlng ug kung magdugay ko sa akong tarbaho ky unsaon nlng....

lahi ra jd.

Money oriented and work oriented jd.

Lahi ra jd sa akong naandan na puro lng pro bonum...

no pressures whatsoever.

Pero sige lng...

start pa bitaw. Daghan pa mahitabo sa akong kinabuhi...

chapter lng ni..

Ang Pagpanarbaho

Ang Pagpanarbaho.... baw.

Kakapoi ba gayod niining manginabuhi ta

Hilabina ning pagpangita ta ug kwarta...

Usahay makalipay, usahay maka subo

Ug ting sweldo, makabuhi ug dugo...

Ang magsunod sa sugo sa imong mga manedyer...

Ang pagpasa sa mga reports ug ledger...

Magbangutngut atong kasing-kasing,

sa kakapoi sa buluhaton...

Mga tawong walay kasing-kasing,

kwarta ang ilang gipahilabing gamhanan...

Apan ang pagpanarbaho nagpabilin sa akong kamot,

Unsaon ko pagdawat, sa pagngisi o pagmugot...

Kay kining atong kalibutan nagatuyok sa kanunay,

kita anaa sa taas ug sa ubos usahay...

Pagpanginabuhi nganong gikinahanglan man gayud?

Salapi o kaharuhay sa kinabuhi lamang ba ang nagpaluyo,

o ang kalipay na mabaton sa pagserbisyo sa isig katawo.

No Need for Cheaper Medicine Bill!

I don't think that our present congress can pass this long awaited bill. I believe that big multi-national companies are doing so hard in lobbying the congressmen not to pass this bill. There are two points that I wish to emphasize in this blog. First is that, our corrupt and bureaucratic government cannot pass this act and secondly the battle for affordable medicines cannot be solved in our congress.

Our congress cannot pass this law, it's good if they cannot do it for a certain reason. What will happen to the Filipino people if they 'will' not pass this law? In other words, if they intend not to pass it... Currently the bill is on its final reading, and currently also, big multi-national companies are lobbying so hard not to have this bill enacted. Why is that do? The answer is very simple, this will affect their market sales and will lower their profit. Just recently, big multi-national companies are establishing a generic counterpart of their company. RiteMed is a counterpart of Unilab, and I heard also that Sanofi Aventis is having one also, and many more... How will this bill pass? I don't think it will be enacted...

To solve the higher prices of medicines that the Filipinos carry cannot be resolved by the congress itself. Unless our congressman would be sincere enough in representing their constituents, whom i am sure would want a lower priced medicine, this bill cannot pass the readings. The Filipinos won't win the battle, only the opportunist representatives would win. Winning this battle can be achieved through marketing.

Seeking for options so that quality treatment may not have to be expensive is the Vision of Mr. Rodolfo I. Gracia, founder of GX International, Inc. He envisioned this as a weapon in winning the battle for affordable and top quality medicines. The company is hundred percent owned by Filipino businessmen who believe that Filipinos themselves are the only people who can serve the Filipinos at best.

Cheaper medicine Bill? No need of that. Support for the growth of GX International, Inc. Currently the company ranks third in the country's Filipino owned Pharmaceutical companies. In 1994, it was at the 500th place in the ranking of the countries top pharmaceutical companies. Right now, in more than ten years the company humbly ranks 17th (including the multi-nationals).

In Search for Perfection?

I am still under training to become a medical representative. It is a tough job but the benefits and compensations are really very good. What is best is that our company does not only give us a living but it also gives life for the poor, especially the ones deprived of quality medicines..

Upon studying different systems in our body, i just could not help myself but wonder who designed our body. It is really perfect! When somebody would ask me what is perfection, I would simply say, look at your bodies. There is something in our body that remains to be a mystery. It is a mystery that is yet to be uncovered. And because of that mystery, perfection is at hand.

Who is that somebody who created our body? I don't know... It is called Manama by the Bagobos, Allah for the Islams, and Jesus Christ for the Christians... As for me I am convinced and I choose to be convinced and believe that an Absolute Being created humanity... created Me.

I Miss Her So Much

I went to visit her just this afternoon. For a long tie I had forgotten her. Nearly everything about her. I forgot about her presence, care, kindness, and most of all her love. The moment I saw her, I was moved into tears.. It deemed to me that she was calling me from afar, softly whispering in my heart. I miss her so much. Now that I'm back with her, I'm willing to surrender everything and put my whole trust to her...

Different Side of the World

For quite a long time I have been sitting around the corners of our house doing nothing. I became unproductive and useless. For six months I did nothing. Since I left my "faithful" life in the seminary I was broken into pieces... I was looking for ways on how to put those pieces back into its shape.

It was hard for me to adjust really... From a life that is secluded yet public, and to a life that is private yet secluded.. In other words from my life in the formation house and into the life of a lay man...

Then I eventually found a job and was hired as a trainee... I am currently being trained as a medical sales representative. Very distant from what I used to live. My interviewer, who happened to be the vice president of the company, asked me "why do you want to apply for this job?" Different from others would say, my answer was 'to be able to see the different side of the world...'

Indeed those were my words. I was supposed to tell him that I do not need a job but just for a living, but I feared that I might sound arrogant. Anyway, I was really happy that I was hired, though still as a trainee. Now I am off to see the different side of the world, in order to comprehend the phenomenon happening inside and outside of me.

I did not expect them to tell me that!

I was hurt..! I did not expect them to tell that! What hurt me most was the fact that they did not tell it in front of me. I just heard it from others.. It is alright if they are not professional, just like the people in the squatters area... but they are people who deserve to be respected, persons with authority both by the public and religious sectors.....

Anyway. I do not have to follow what they say about me. I simply do not care. My life belongs to me, not by them, neither my parents nor my brother.. It's my life. My decisions were carefully thought, and if ever, by chance, i made a wrong decision, it will be me who will pay the price, not them..

I am sure that they will soon pay the price of putting words in my mouth. Of putting myself in a box.